Five Things to Drink Instead of Diet Coke

Writing this post feels a bit like speaking at my own funeral. I love Diet Coke so much. Diet Coke is my friend.

But fuck Diet Coke, because it’s my greatest addiction.

But I love you Diet Coke. I was just playing. Come back 😥

Kicking the Habit

I’ve tried so many times to kick the habit. I failed, I succeeded, and failed.

I kid you not that I had serious withdrawals. If I didn’t drink Diet Coke by 1 PM, my lower back would start hurting. I would get a terrible headache. Wtf is that about.

An End to Extreme Approaches

I used to take an extreme approach to quitting the great Diet Coke. “Starting today,” my dumbass would say, “no Diet Coke for all of eternity.”

And by 1 PM my back would hurt. And by day three, you’d find me underneath an overpass, injecting Diet Coke directly into my thigh.

I’ve stopped taking this approach. Quitting my dearest friend is too hard.

Instead, when I want a Diet Coke, I just try to drink something else. And sometimes, just sometimes, I have a fucking Diet Coke. And it’s glorious.

Five Alternatives to Diet Coke

1. Water. Need I say more?

2. Green Tea. Usually, water doesn’t scratch the itch. And oddly enough, coffee doesn’t scratch the itch for me either. I’ve never been a huge tea drinker, but Green Tea somehow does the trick for me. And after substituting Green Tea for Diet Coke a few times, it actually became much easier. It’s a habit thing. If you don’t like Green Tea, maybe you’ll like  Black Tea or one of those zesty orange flavored teas.

3. Coffee. Maybe coffee will work for you. Coffee is delicious, and it has health benefits. The coffee at my office is disgusting and burnt.  It gives me heartburn. So choose a coffee that is not the coffee at my office.

4. Vitamin Water Zero. Ok so arguably this is just as terrible for you as Diet Coke. I don’t know, it probably is. But I find it less addicting. And I guess it has vitamins. So sometimes I just want a Diet Coke and I have a vitamin water instead. Then I don’t want Diet Coke anymore.

5. Crack. Sometimes, you need something a bit harder. Crack is probably equally addicting to Diet Coke, but you won’t find it at Duane Reade. Once you develop a full blown crack habit, your Diet Coke habit won’t seem so bad. It’s all about perspective.

I can’t remember if crack is one of those drugs that makes you skinny, but try it for yourself and let me know.


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14 thoughts on “Five Things to Drink Instead of Diet Coke”

  1. I recently read a book about Jennette Fulda, she lost over 200 pounds and she didn’t give up her soft drinks (changed from regular to diet), she just changed her diet and exercised!


  2. hilarious…I help people get started on clean eating plans all the time and the first question is “wait, what? No diet coke?” the struggle is real…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I gave up Diet Soda a few years ago and it was SO HARD but I replaced it with Flavored Green Tea (actual fresh brewed so no sugar or cals) and mixed it with Berry flavored water (zero cal and no artificial sweeteners) It was a great combo of caffeine and bubbles, took time to find the perfect combo of flavors but it worked and I have not drank Diet Soda regularly (occasionally indulge every couple months) in about 3 years.


  4. I too was once Diet Cokes bitch. Once I was clear on the toxin it truly is and saw someone else who drank it constantly I was done and this was almost 2 years ago now. I now enjoy Zeevia or a Topo Chico or water. Was at a point where I was drinking 6-8 dc’s a day and little else. Glad to be free of that monkey and now for the others…


  5. I’ve never liked Diet Coke, but I did drink an awful lot of sugary drinks (Proper Coke being king among them). I actually kicked the habit by freezing bottles of water. I found that while water at room temperature didn’t do it for me, as long as it was really, really cold, I was happy. I didn’t touch Coke for a year, then allowed myself a bit in summer and when I was in the tropics. Now if I don’t have icy water for a few days I absolutely crave it, and the moment I get a nice glug of it freezing my throat I’m in heaven!


    1. Ooooooo good idea – I’ll have to try that.

      It’s smart also to just not touch the stuff for a year. Break the habit, and then have it occasionally. Interesting how now you crave ice water. The brain is an interesting organ!


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