Seven Magic Pills to Regulate Your Appetite

I spent 26 years looking for a magic pill to regulate my appetite.  I spent the last two years finding quite a few.

1. Veggies and Fat with Every Meal. Non-negotiable. And yes, this includes breakfast.
2. Eggs. The best food to ever exit a chicken’s pu**y. Need I say more?
3. Start Your Diet with a Juice Fast. Good for you? Bad for you? I don’t know. But a few days of juice torture and I promise you  this – either you will be dead, or your appetite will be.
4. Water with Every Meal. I know you know this already. Don’t roll your eyes at me.
5. Hot Soup with Every Meal. Even in the Summertime. I wanna see you sweat!
6. Intermittent Fasting. It works for me. Try it.
7. Never eat carbs alone. Trust me, you won’t stop.
8. Drive Slow Homie. If you can’t control your appetite, don’t begin a diet and exercise regimen at the same time. First get used to your new eating habits.

FAQ’s

1. What if I want a donut?

You can have one. But only if you eat a large plate of veggies first.

2. What if I want a chicken parm sandwich?

See question one.

3. What do I do if I hate all of your suggestions, and I’d rather be stuck to my couch? 

It’s a free world! Do it. Couches are comfortable.

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