Before and After

Oh jeez…this is one I REALLY don’t want to share.

Since we started Fat Girls Fitness a few months back, I’ve been looking for a good “before” photo of me at my heaviest.

The problem is I avoided cameras at the time soooo…. I had to do a bit of searching.  And even so, I’m not sure this reflects my fattest moment of all. But I suppose it’s awful enough.

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Height: 5’2”

Before: August, 2013 190 ish pounds? (this is a guess)
After: January, 2016. 137 pounds

Thoughts:

  • My triangle arms are on point, regardless of the fact that I clearly ate a semi-trailer.
  • In my first picture, I am 25 years old. It’s incredibly sad to think that’s how I spent my 25th year. I should have been having fun and partying. Instead, I was having fun and partying, but I was also extremely depressed, sweaty, and uncomfortable.

While I feel happy that the weight is gone, I can’t help but look at this with a whole lot of sadness. Apparently I was too busy dining on small villages to care about my own happiness and well-being, and that pisses me off. At myself.

I find it extremely hard to forgive myself, and I’m not sure I ever will.

But – in any event, if I can do it, you can do it. …Because really I don’t have any special iron will or skills. I’m just a regular fatass who got tired of being a fatass and said “enough.” And you are not alone.

At times it was tough, but it would have been so much tougher to continue down that road.

It seems like a long journey, but the only thing you need to do today is take the first step. And there is no long term goal. You don’t have to get skinny. You just need to be better today than you were yesterday.

PLEASE, I AM BEGGING YOU!! Don’t put yourself on hold for as long as I did.

You can do it 🙂

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27 thoughts on “Before and After”

  1. Please forgive yourself. I know it is hard, but sometimes we just do the best we can in our current situation. The fact that you were able to pull yourself out of that place and grow into who you are today is truly amazing. Thanks for sharing! You are truly an inspiration and you give me hope 🙂

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    1. Thank you so much for the kind words 🙂

      It really means so much to me because my whole goal with this blog is to show that if someone like me can do it, anyone can do it. Otherwise I definitely would not be sharing this photo! It just makes me shudder.

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  4. As said above, congratulations on your success! I completely understand your sentiment about looking back with sadness. I can’t believe that I allowed myself to live like I used to. I was 184lbs and size 14 pant at 5′ 4″. Now I am 134 and a size 4 pant. My life is so much happier, fuller, and better off now. I will not ever go back to the girl. Good on you and keep it up!!

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    1. Thank you :DD

      And congratulations on your journey also!! Sound like our stats were pretty similar, so it’s always nice to hear from someone who gets it and who has been in such a similar place. Good for you also!! and thanks for the comment 🙂

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  5. Thank you so much for sharing this, I really needed it today! I have the same thoughts all the time about my journey. Why couldn’t I have done this sooner? So that I could’ve spent my teens and 20s happier and healthier instead of depressed and hating my body? Easter weekend was hard and I gave into a lot of my bad habits but your post helped me remember that I have to do this now, get back to it now!

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  9. Your time was anything but wasted! You were stil a beautiful person before and God gave you the will and wisdom to become a healthy version of you! We are meant to always throughout our lives learn from our mistakes, grow and evolve, and pass on knowledge and help someone with our stories…. We have to take our pain, anger from ourselves and turn it into healing for someone else…. That’s when you will let go of all that anger, resentment and disappointment in yourself and begin to see it as an honor to endure the pain in order to help/save someone else from feeling those negative feelings… Love and accept yourself truly for your beauty and all positive characteristics on your inside and focus to your future and just be proud of where you are now and thankful you had the wisdom to change when you did rather than much later in life or never! God bless you! You’re a strong woman!

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  10. How inspiring! I wished I took better care of myself when I was your age. I’m now playing catch up!
    Thanks for sharing! You look great! So happy and healthy!

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  12. Your transformation is very motivational for me and for a lot of other people. It’s the people like yourself who have the attitude to change yourself and not wait for a handout or blame it on other things. You should be proud of the way you have taken control of your body and got it to a place where you are happy. Don’t live in regret or anger as that will stop you enjoying what you have achieved. Enjoy your new found health and fitness! Keep up the good work!

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    1. You are the best!!!! Do you recognize that photo of me in the red tank top? That’s from Greece 🙂

      You probably took it. Unless it was Gorge Day ://////

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