Six Ways Herman Helps Me Stay Fit

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This is my puppy Herman Cainine.

Herman is a Shih Tzu mix, which means he’s kind of an asshole. He is the cutest and fuzziest dictator you ever will see. He also votes Republican as a rule.

Herman keeps me fit in countless ways: 

1.  He loves the park

Well actually he hates it. But he does enjoy walking there and then immediately  throwing a tantrum until we leave.

I don’t get it, but I don’t question his highness. Or the exercise it brings. 

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some days he prefers to drive

2.  He sleeps on my laptop bag

Want to spend some time on the computer?

No such luck. Herman is sleeping on it. If you approach him, he will unleash all of his puppy anger. I suppose I’ll just lift some weights while I wait… 

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tiny but lethal

3. He eats all of my food, but never shares his. 

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Even my veggies 😦
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more coffee please!

4.  He only weighs 12 pounds.

Although I understand that target weights vary by species, I am inspired by Herman’s weight of only 12 pounds. #fitspo

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As a baby he weighed even less! Go Herman Go!

5. He Urinates. 

Herman is fully housebroken. But if he feels I’m taking too long to put on my coat or fumble for my keys, he will look me dead in the eye as he pees all over the kitchen floor.

Rushing to get Herman out the door, while stressing about the possibility of urine gets my heart rate up. And once urine happens, cleaning it also burns calories. Cardio, my friends.

6. He loves to play.

Once he’s done eating all of my food and peeing on my floor, Herman barks at me until I chase him around the apartment in circles. I am confident that my downstairs neighbors enjoy this just as much as I do.

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It’s 3 AM. Why aren’t we playing yet?

Incidentally, Herman is betting on Trump as our future president, but really he would have preferred Rand Paul. Herman recently devoured the “Art of the Deal,” but found it a bit difficult to digest.

Even though he spat most of it out, he continues to knock my books off the shelf, and chew on them until we play chase.  The exercise won’t end, even if I want it to. 

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Bad boy Herman! That book is for Democrats.

Even though he’s a Trump supporter, I love my Herman.

Luckily, I still have a bit more time to see if I can influence his vote. Lest ye forget Herman, who controls the treats in this home..

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Open Borders Herman! Open Borders!

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23 thoughts on “Six Ways Herman Helps Me Stay Fit”

      1. omg Wilfred!!!! HE IS SOO FREAKING CUTE!! ahhh!!

        I will respond back to your other two comments btw. I just want to give it a thoughtful response. I noticed the recommendation for the podcast and I will definitely take you up on that because I’m always looking for new podcasts to listen to.

        I’ve been a bit unfocused as we’re releasing a documentary I edited on Thursday!! So I’ve been spending most of my day promoting that. (It’s about guns lol, not fitness).

        Liked by 1 person

      2. When they’re grown they’re just cute in a different way 🙂

        Thank you!!

        I’m considering sharing the link on my blog but it’s a bit controversial :///

        Maybe I will anyway

        Liked by 1 person

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