Month: February 2016

Get Rid of Your Freaking Clothes

Maintaining a safe distance from your “comfortable” aka “fat” clothes should be treated the same way you’d stay away from the lady clipping her fingernails on the subway: the greater the distance, the better off you are.

I can relate to the need to hang to hang on to your unwanted clothing way beyond its need to exist on your life. This post comes from someone who can justify any purchase through sheer force of imagination.

The thought process goes like this. First you wonder, “How great would this look if I happened to lose 5 pounds while simultaneously finding myself in a casual dining situation in Morocco?” And before you can answer yourself with a resounding, “so great!” You realize that the purchase has already been made.

FullSizeRenderIdentify and destroy bad patterns of behavior. 

It’s time for you to release your cottony victims from your life, closet, or miscellaneous vacuum sealed bag.

Here are a few ways you can convince yourself it’s ok to let go:

• Watch Hoarders
• When you donate your clothes, they go to someone less fortunate and that feels good!
• Curse them with bad luck so you don’t want them anyway
• Wear it to an event where a lot of pictures are taken because god forbid you are twice tagged on social media wearing the same thing to two different events
• Witness a crime in your fat clothes

Clothes swap!

If, due to extreme poverty or a generalized hatred of shopping, you truly feel you have either your fat clothes or plastic bags to choose from – that’s cool.

Start a clothing swap with friends! This is a good way to not only pass on some sweet threads to a deserving peer, but also to have a meeting of the minds.

Those who are further along in their weight loss journey are also passing their motivation on to you. Perhaps your bestie’s pants are only a temporary stop before you step down to another size – free stuff! no commitments! One of my favorite things about pants is that they don’t judge. You can use them as much as you need to and drop them like a hot potato as you continue to drop the amount of hot potatoes you eat.

May your fridges and closets be wisely stocked!

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Five Things to Drink Instead of Diet Coke

Writing this post feels a bit like speaking at my own funeral. I love Diet Coke so much. Diet Coke is my friend.

But fuck Diet Coke, because it’s my greatest addiction.

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But I love you Diet Coke. I was just playing. Come back 😥

Kicking the Habit

I’ve tried so many times to kick the habit. I failed, I succeeded, and failed.

I kid you not that I had serious withdrawals. If I didn’t drink Diet Coke by 1 PM, my lower back would start hurting. I would get a terrible headache. Wtf is that about.

An End to Extreme Approaches

I used to take an extreme approach to quitting the great Diet Coke. “Starting today,” my dumbass would say, “no Diet Coke for all of eternity.”

And by 1 PM my back would hurt. And by day three, you’d find me underneath an overpass, injecting Diet Coke directly into my thigh.

I’ve stopped taking this approach. Quitting my dearest friend is too hard.

Instead, when I want a Diet Coke, I just try to drink something else. And sometimes, just sometimes, I have a fucking Diet Coke. And it’s glorious.

Five Alternatives to Diet Coke

1. Water. Need I say more?

2. Green Tea. Usually, water doesn’t scratch the itch. And oddly enough, coffee doesn’t scratch the itch for me either. I’ve never been a huge tea drinker, but Green Tea somehow does the trick for me. And after substituting Green Tea for Diet Coke a few times, it actually became much easier. It’s a habit thing. If you don’t like Green Tea, maybe you’ll like  Black Tea or one of those zesty orange flavored teas.

3. Coffee. Maybe coffee will work for you. Coffee is delicious, and it has health benefits. The coffee at my office is disgusting and burnt.  It gives me heartburn. So choose a coffee that is not the coffee at my office.

4. Vitamin Water Zero. Ok so arguably this is just as terrible for you as Diet Coke. I don’t know, it probably is. But I find it less addicting. And I guess it has vitamins. So sometimes I just want a Diet Coke and I have a vitamin water instead. Then I don’t want Diet Coke anymore.

5. Crack. Sometimes, you need something a bit harder. Crack is probably equally addicting to Diet Coke, but you won’t find it at Duane Reade. Once you develop a full blown crack habit, your Diet Coke habit won’t seem so bad. It’s all about perspective.

I can’t remember if crack is one of those drugs that makes you skinny, but try it for yourself and let me know.

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Five Awesome Books for Fitness

If you’re smart like me, you read a lot of books. And if you’re sexy like me, some of those books are about health and nutrition.

Here’s the thing – I want to look good. But what I want more than that is to be fully immortal.

So these aren’t diet books. They’re books about health. And some of them contain new or different thinking which might be controversial. But they’re all interesting.

  1. “Eating on the Wild Side” by Jo Robinson. I fucking love this book. So will you please read it? I don’t know. Maybe you’ll find it boring.The premise is that even if you eat fruits and veggies, our modern varieties are not necessarily giving you optimum nutrition, because we’ve bred out some really good stuff. Each chapter covers a category of produce. The author provides the following info:
    1. the history of the crop;
    2. the genetic history;
    3. how to pick the most nutritious variety;
    4. how to prepare it for optimum nutrition;
    5. how to store it for optimum nutrition;
    6. interesting facts that will surprise you

The book is fantastic. Its just brilliant. Even if you’re not so into nutrition, it’s just a super interesting book about plants. I listened to it on audiobook maybe three times. While exercising, of course 😉

2.  “In Defense of Food” by Michael Pollan. Even though it’s not so old, this book is basically a classic. The info is so basic, and the author is just so smart. The premise is to just eat fucking food. It’s great.

Pollan rails against “nutritionism” and tells us why we shouldn’t really trust what we get from nutritional studies. He gives me lots of fuel for my anti- FDA government conspiracy fire. And yet he’s not at all a conspiracy theorist. He’s just a smartie pants.

3. “Good Calories, Bad Calories”  by Gary Taubes. This one is a classic in nutrition circles. Just give it a read.

4. “Grain Brain” by Dr. David Perlmutter.

This is where my list starts to get a bit controversial. Dr. Perlmutter is kind of one of those “hippie” doctors.  You may not agree with him. I tend to agree with a lot of what he says, and I think he’s very careful in his claims.

This book isn’t about weight loss. It’s about how our grain-heavy diet affects our brain. He also tells us how to eat to best preserve our brain function into old age. Hint: it’s not bagels.

I think it’s a great book and an interesting book.

5. “The Fast Diet” by Dr. Michael Mosley and Mimi Spencer

Hate the title. Love the book.

This isn’t a diet book. It’s a primer to Intermittent Fasting, and it takes a very gentle approach at that.

Basically, this book touts the benefits of greatly reducing your caloric intake for two days a week.  So it’s not really about “fasting” per se. But if you don’t know much about fasting, this book is a great start. It’s very approachable. And I love that it gives both a male and female perspective on fasting.

But wait! There’s more!!

If you just so happen to be an ignorant fool who doesn’t want to read a book, you are in luck. The Fast Diet was based on a BBC Documentary, also featuring Dr. Mosley. You can check it out on youtube here. It’s great.

While you’re at it, check out my list of awesome documentaries here.

Happy Reading 😀

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Kimchi pancakes

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Being that I am Russian, I suppose loving anything pickled is in my blood. I also hate throwing away unused food… Which got me thinking, what can I do with a jar of almost expired kimchi other than serving it on the side of something?

My husband and I got a Groupon for a local Korean BBQ joint that served these delicious seafood pancakes, scallion pancakes, veggie pancakes and shrimp pancakes…so why not kimchi?

Guys, listen, if you’re not a fan of kimchi, you’re about to become one. Hubby said it tastes like veggie tempura except with a little kick to it.

Did you know that kimchi has health benefits? Basically what I am saying is pancakes = healthy. YOLO!

Kimchi is low cal, low carb, low sugar, low fat and high fiber. It has probiotic benefits similar to yogurt and other dairy products. It’s good for controlling appetite, controlling blood sugar levels, and cholesterol levels. The fiber in kimchi helps keep you fuller longer.

Here is a fun chart of Kimchi Benefits:

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*Visit organicfacts.net for more info*

So, these pancakes were a last minute idea which is so not me… I am a meal planner. Charts and graphs and scribble everywhere! Imagine, “A Beautiful Mind”. I wonder what Russell Crowe’s thoughts are on playing a neurotic, food obsessed Jewish girl. Math and food, same thing, right? Anyway, I digress… sorry sorry sorry!

Kimchi pancakes:

Yields 4 medium size pancakes

Ingredients:

¼ cup kimchi drained and cut into itty bitty pieces

1 egg and 4 tablespoons egg whites

2-3 tablespoons kimchi juice (add more or less depending on spice preference)

1 tablespoon soy sauce

¼ cup chopped scallions

½ cup all purpose flour

2 tablespoons evoo

*Served with Thai Kitchen’s sweet red chili dipping sauce

Directions:

Heat pan with olive oil

Mix all ingredients together till it turns into a pancake-y batter

Drop ¼ cup of mixture onto frying pan and spread as thin as possible

Cook on each side for approx. 2 min or until golden brown

If this were planned, I would have made cauliflower fried rice and a sunny side up egg… alas, I did not have the necessary ingredients.

*You can make homemade sauce or use any store bought sauces. I imagine this would taste good with peanut or gyozo dipping sauce.

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A Way Out: Eating Without Counting

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This plate contains meat, mac and cheese, and starchy veggies prepared in oil. But notice how it’s mostly veggies. And underneath is entirely greens.

I’m about to describe how I eat, in general.

I think that for most people, a diet like mine will allow them to lose weight – even without exercise. And yes, even without counting calories.

All you have to do is listen to your appetite.

This is basically it:

  • This is KEY: I’d guess that 3/4 of my diet is veggies, by volume. I eat as many veggies as I want. Many greens, but I don‘t shy away from starchy vegetables.
  • I dress my salads however I want – sometimes including croutons, seeds etc. I personally only like a small amount of dressing, and usually no dressing at all.
  • I eat a small amount of meat several times a week. Many weeks I don’t eat any meat at all.
  • If I’m not eating a TON of greens for a particular meal, I use small plates. Large plates are ridiculous.
  • I eat lots of soups, usually broth based (rarely creamy)
  • I eat lots of eggs, every day. With a little bit of olive or coconut oil.
  • I’m not big on dairy, but I have it when I want it
  • I try to stay away from refined foods
  • I eat not too many beans, but probably more than most people
  • I eat 1 or 2 squares of chocolate every day
  • Some days, I drink wine
  • Occasionally, I eat bad stuff

The foods I eat most often are:
greens, eggs, sweet potatoes, avocados, tomatoes and onions

On Meal Frequency (and this is important!!):
 I eat as often as I want, but I NEVER eat simply because it’s meal time. Some days I eat very often, and some days not at all. I eat completely according to my appetite.

On Physical Activity:
I stay active, but only because I enjoy it. I don‘t do harsh exercises. I walk often, hike often, and sometimes jog.

Three caveats to all of the above

1. Losing weight is different than maintaining weight. What I’ve described, to me, is a healthy diet – based on what we know now. If you eat like this, and according to your own appetite, then your weight should take care of itself, barring some other major issues.

If you go from eating processed foods to eating like this – I imagine you’ll lose weight without counting calories. But if you always eat like this, and you haven’t been losing weight, then of course you won’t. For you, adding exercise or cutting out some calories might work.

2. Getting from A to B is a trip. If you rely on processed foods and carbs for the majority of your needs, it could be very difficult to suddenly transition to a diet like this. You don‘t want to torture yourself, and yes – it may take time. I suggest adding vegetables to your diet first, rather than taking anything away. Believe it or not, I actually enjoy and prefer eating this way. It just took some getting used to.

3. This diet makes me feel full and satisfied. If this doesn’t make you feel full and satisfied, it’s not going to work for you.  This is why I suggest adding rather than subtracting. Fill up on veggies that you love, and begin to gingerly try ones you don‘t care for. You might find that you get to an ideal weight without even trying.

Sometimes, Counting Calories is Good.

In some situations, counting calories might make sense. For more on that, check out my post On Counting Calories.

Happy not-counting 😀

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On Counting Calories

 

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Calories don’t count if you eat standing up.

I don’t take a strict “calories in-calories out” approach to weight loss or maintenance. Still – your overall caloric intake is important. Very important. Perhaps the most important factor in determining your overall body composition.

Even so, you don’t have to count calories to lose or maintain your weight. It just depends on the circumstances.

Full Disclosure: I Can’t NOT Count Calories.

I don‘t count calories anymore. But I did spend my entire life doing it. So now, at the tender age of 28, I can’t NOT count calories.

Sadly, I’ve become such an expert that I just do it subconsciously.

I can very accurately predict the calories in basically any food. And without thinking about it, I just always know how many calories I’ve had to eat on a given day.

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I’m like a Calorie Rain Main.

 

The reason I tell you this?
..So that you take my advice on calories with a grain of salt.

Because after all, even though I DON’T count calories, I actually DO count calories. It’s like the 10,000 hour rule for fat people.

Sometimes, Counting Calories is Good.

Counting calories can be very helpful under the right circumstances. Specifically, counting calories might be a good idea if:

  1. You’re a noob.
  2. You eat lots of processed foods and carbs.

“Noobs” are people who don’t know much about nutrition. Being a noob is a good thing. It means you’ve actually enjoyed your life, instead of focusing on what you eat all day.

Still, Noobs might be a little confused. And not through any fault of their own. The basic nutrition facts we learned in school – well, they were wrong. Eating fat doesn’t make you fat, eating cereal for breakfast is probably a terrible idea, and yes – you can eat the egg yolk. Even if you have high cholesterol.

If you’re a noob, counting calories can help you become more mindful of what you are eating. This might lead to a greater awareness of how your diet might be less than ideal.

But be careful, noobs, lest you fall under the impression that caloric intake is all that matters. It’s part of a bigger picture.

…which brings us to processed foods.

People who eat lots of processed foods might also do well to count calories.

Two reasons:
1. Processed foods are less filling than whole foods, so your body might not be cueing you properly on when to stop eating;
2. Processed foods are often designed to be addictive, making it more likely you’ll overeat

Similarly, for some people, carbs have a tendency to increase your appetite and cause cravings. This is certainly my experience.

A Way Out

Read my blog post on how I eat, in general.  I believe that for most people, a diet similar to mine will allow them to lose weight – even without exercise.

And yes, without counting calories!! 

The keys are –
1. Crowding out poor choices with MANY veggies; and
2. Listening to your appetite

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Seven Reasons Why You Should Hike for Fitness

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I love hiking more than anything else in the whole world. I just want to be one with nature. And then I want to come home to all of my modern amenities and never look at nature again.

Don’t Do it to Lose Weight.

When it comes to weight loss, physical activity is secondary to food intake.  And not everything has to be about weight loss. Sometimes it’s just about hugging a tree.

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I hike because I desperately enjoy sitting on unfamiliar rocks.

But, seriously. Do it to lose weight. 

But realistically speaking – who cares about nature? I, for one, haven’t stopped celebrating global warming since the moment Al Gore invented the internet.

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Just look how sweaty my back is. I am definitely losing weight!

Hiking and the Deep Burn.

Hiking is fantastic because…

1.   God gave you muscles. God gave you a variety of muscles. He wants you to roam this earth in sorrow and longing, constantly questioning his existence as well the purpose of your own. And he wants you to do this at various elevations.

Scrambling up and down hills engages a variety of muscle groups. This makes hiking a dynamic activity which brings you closer to God. Just ask a Rabbi and he will confirm that he has no idea what you’re talking about.

2.   You can take pictures. Hiking is scenic. When hiking, take a picture and post it on social media. This will accomplish two things. First, it will let everyone else know how much better you are than them. And second, it will create a cherished memory of a time when you let everyone else know how much better you were than them.

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Just check out this this glorious view.

 

3.   It takes a while. When you hike, the time flies because you are among friends, invariably talking shit about all of your other friends. A weekly hike gives me the extended workout I need to allow me to eat as many french fries as I can find under my couch cushion.

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Friends who hike together, talk shit together.

 

4.   It’s Conducive to Planning. At the gym, it’s easy to fall behind. One bad day at work, and suddenly you’re six tacos deep instead of six squats deep. Hiking, on the other hand, is conducive to planning.

Plan to hike EVERY SINGLE SUNDAY beginning on March 1. Compile a list of hikes, and actually schedule them out with friends. You will be accountable because these specific hikes are now in your calendar.

5.   It gives you something to talk about with fit people. Fit people love expending energy in various extraneous ways.  So if you want to talk to a fit person, try bringing up the hike you did last week. If the person is truly fit, then he or she was probably doing the very same hike as you, and at the same exact time.  Now the fit person is more likely to have sex with you.

6.   It’s good for your physical and mental health. With the exception of that scary thing from The Little Shop of Horrors, being around plants is good for your mental and physical health.

And since most of the plants on earth will be dead soon, you should take in as much nature as you can, while you still can.

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All of these plants will soon be dead.


7.    Trail Mix. 
Hiking is the only time when you are allowed to feel good about eating M&M’s. Don’t let this moment pass you by.

Downsides of Hiking

If you go hiking, you will probably get lost or worse – eaten by a bear. In either event, it won’t be a particularly pleasant way to go.

But in case you’re still interested, I find many of my hikes here. You can also check out Meetup.com for hiking groups near you.

Happy Hiking 😀

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