Women are the Superior Sex

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Earlier today, I posted about Amelia Earhart.  But on International Women’s Day, one post is never enough.

Because in honor of this special day, I need to come clean: 
I am 100% convinced that Women are the superior sex.

Not equal, but better. And measurably so. Now before you call me a feminist bitch, two points:

  1. It’s not particularly important to me to be a member of the superior sex. I have no dog in this fight. But facts are facts. We’re a little bit better, on average, than dudes.  Dudes, on the other hand, are the absolute worst.
  2. I am not a feminist. REPEAT: I am not a feminist. I just happen to think women are better than men in most ways.

Reasoning:

  1. I hate every man on public transportation.

If you are an XY, and you’re on public transportation, then you probably fall into one of the following categories (and most likely more than one):

  • You smell;
  • You take up too much space;
  • you rap at me; OR
  • you ogle.

On the Problem of Man Spreading

What the fucking fuck? Man spreading has gotten so bad on the NY subway system, that the MTA has spent the past two years campaigning to discourage it.

Let me put it this way. MTA could be spending those funds on oh umm…..AIR CONDITIONING in those sweltering Summer months? Or how about cleaning up urine? (Which come to think of it, is also the fault of men.)

But NO. The MTA can’t waste a single penny solving actual problems. And that’s because men take up such an extraordinary amount of space with their stupid hairy legs that every last penny must be spent just trying to cope with this oddly specific problem.

I will never believe that your most treasured appendage is so overwhelmingly large that you just HAVE to take up three seats. Just close your legs, and assert your dominance elsewhere.

If I were King, all of the subway systems could afford air conditioning because man spreading would be a capital offense.  Chocolate would also be free for everyone.

On rap

I thoroughly enjoy rap music. But I don’t enjoy being rapped at.

…Well actually I kind of do. But in any event, it’s impolite.

I have NEVER been rapped at by a woman. Women don’t rap AT people, they rap WITH people. Because women are not monsters. And men are the devil.

2. Women have better social intelligence.

Which isn’t hard. Because most men have a whopping zero percent.

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Oprah knows.

3. Women see gray areas.

I’ve always suspected that women are better at detecting nuance than men. Men have no idea about this. Probably because they are so incredibly shitty at detecting nuance.

But I’m not the only one who feels this way. Here is a scientific source.

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men understand nothing.

4. Women have all the uteri.

That’s right, fools. All of them.

We can freeze dry your sperm, but just TRY to freeze dry my uterus. It won’t work. And I will send you straight to jail if you even think about it.

5. Men Lose Weight Faster

Admittedly, this one doesn’t make women superior. I’m just including it because it makes me that fucking mad.

Like goddammit guys, the irony of this.  No one even cares if you’re skinny. We mostly just care about how much money you make.

You dudes, on the other hand, care so much. In fact when it comes to attractiveness, you prioritize thinness over any other feature. And it’s not even your fault. You were just born this way. As total baby douchebags.

Zen Moments

Phew. I’m sorry boys. That little rant felt so good.

I guess International Women’s Day doesn’t require man bashing, but hey sometimes these things happen.

And I guess it’s not necessary for one sex to be superior to the other.

…But it just so happens that mine is. #girlpower

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Five Ways to Be Like Amelia on Int’l Women’s Day

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Amelia Earhart = perhaps the most badass person who ever lived on this planet. 

There is so much we can learn from her on International Women’s Day.

1. Do what can’t be done. 

Everything that “can’t be done” actually can be done. It just hasn’t been done yet.  So don’t strive to “be cool” ; strive to “create cool”

  • Being cool means being an early adopter of things that society is already opening up to.
  • Creating cool means doing things fearlessly.

Creating cool makes you a pioneer. It might mean doing things that your friends and family deem reckless. That’s because most people can’t FATHOM living without the fear of other people’s opinions.

 

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2.  Don’t complain about getting no respect. Demand it.  

In Earhart’s day, getting married often meant the end of your identity as an individual human being.  Earhart didn’t bitch and moan about this. She simply refused to let it happen to her.

When a George Putnam wanted to put a ring on it, Amelia was down.

But Amelia was no “ride or die” chick. Because even though she truly wanted to hit it, Amelia agreed only to a trial period at first.

She would agree to a marriage ONLY if he would agree to respect her separate identity. Bitch demanded respect, and so respect was given. And they lived happily together until her disappearance.

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The original Nike spokesperson

3. Don’t hush yourself.

“Women, like men, should try to do the impossible. And when they fail, their failure should be a challenge to others.” – Amelia Earhart

According to this Mental Floss article, Earhart wrote for Cosmopolitan. But not about topics that most would have found acceptable back in the 1920’s.

In total, she publish 16 published articles. The titles of which include:

  • “Shall You Let Your Daughter Fly?”; AND
  • “Why Are Women Afraid to Fly?”

4. Never Box Yourself In.  

Did you know Amelia Earhart had a fashion line?

..Just because you are a badass pilot, doesn’t mean you can’t look great.

People fear the unpredictable. If they can’t box you in, they’ll keep trying. But don’t let them box you in. And don’t box yourself in. Opportunities are everywhere.

5. Please Yourself. 

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Amelia Earhart was a completely unique human being. A pilot, a pioneer, a writer, a fashion designer, a wife – she was so multi-faceted.

Amelia had a decidedly androgynous flair for the time, and yet was entirely comfortable with her womanhood and femininity.

She didn’t feel the need to please YOU, whoever you happened to be. She felt the need to please herself. And she did it because she wanted to do it.

Wishing you a happy (and empowered) International Women’s Day!

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On Spanx, Dillards, and the Fat Acceptance Movement

People are talking these days. About:
1. Body Pride;
2. Sizeism (discrimination based on size); and
2. The fat acceptance movement

Just the other day, Arie announced it’s new campaign featuring size 12 model Barbie Ferreira. And perhaps you’ve come across one mother’s viral post floating on the internet:

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I believe strongly in body pride and self-confidence, no matter what. Everyone should love themselves. But I DO take issue with certain aspects of the fat acceptance movement.

The Dillards Incident

I was overweight as a child. I specifically recall an incident when I was about 10 years old. I went to children’s boutique named Denny’s in central New Jersey, to buy a Spice Girls T-shirt. The clerk came up to me and told me there was nothing in the store for me. I wish I could remember if we ended up buying the shirt.

I won’t forget that moment for as long as I live. Even though I was overweight, I always felt like a cool girl, and I didn’t think anyone at school made fun of me. But in that moment, it was like a grown woman was making fun of me. I wanted to shrivel up and die. I always wondered why the clerk felt the need to come up to me and say anything at all. Was she afraid I’d stretch out and rip all of the clothes?

Girls – young girls – are particularly susceptible to the influence of those around us, including  older women. Human beings are simply designed that way. There are so many influences telling us we are not good enough the way we are – whether its because of body weight, body hair, body features, or just whatever. Tina Fey wrote about it hilariously in Bossypants. These constant little signs of rejection are tragic.

But when it comes to the Dillard’s clerk (or in my case, the Denny’s clerk),  I’m going to go ahead and assume there was no ill-will intended. That’s because I feel comfortable assuming that the clerk at Dillard’s was not the brightest bulb, just as the clerk at Denny’s was not the sharpest pencil. These women are more likely socially inept than anything else. They don’t deserve our contempt, they deserve our empathy.

What’s more is this – the girl pictured above is adorable, and she is in fine shape. She has nothing to be embarrassed of, and nothing to hide. She wasn’t put on this earth to be an artificial construct, she is here to be herself. And if that means wearing Spanx, or if it means not wearing Spanx – then that’s her prerogative.

I personally choose the Spanx for myself, and maybe that’s because I’m a coward.

To her and her mother, I say “right on!”

The Fat Acceptance Movement

All of this is separate and apart from the fat acceptance movement, which I actually do take issue with.

But first, let me clarify two points.

  1. I’m a Libertarian. In every sense.  What I’m about to say here is only my opinion. I don’t claim to be right in any objective sense. It’s just what feels right for me – and I share my view because maybe it will resonate with you. So if you think the fat acceptance movement is the greatest thing to ever happen on earth, then great. But I don’t. I’d still love to break bread with you sometime. Preferably cheesy bread.
  2. What qualifies as fat?  When I say “fat” in reference to the body acceptance movement, I am not referring to people who are pleasantly plump, delightfully chubby, or even moderately obese. I’m talking about people who are well beyond anything that could possibly be considered a good weight.  And I’m not talking here about obesity in terms of BMI. I’m talking about obesity in terms of “you are fucking undeniably fat.”

The Good Aspects of the Fat Acceptance Movement

Fat acceptance advocates bring awareness to important issues such as weight discrimination in almost every single field. And that’s important.

I know for an absolute fact, as someone who has been at both ends of the spectrum, that fat people are treated differently. Very differently. By employers, professionals, doctors, teachers –  everyone. Even slightly overweight people are treated differently than their thin counterparts.

And this is something we should be mindful of. Both out of respect for others, and also to improve ourselves.

My Problems With the Fat Acceptance Movement 

People are not meant to be fat.

Yes, some of us are meant to put on weight easier than others. Some of us are not meant to be thin.  But with the exception of some very rare illnesses, no one is genetically destined to be very obese.

Obesity is a product of a modern lifestyle based on unnatural foods. These foods are marketed at us constantly from a very young age. We think these foods should make us feel full, but they don’t because they are devoid of nutrition. They are often designed to addict us, physically.  These foods are dangerous, and as far as I’m concerned, marketing them to children is criminal.

Obesity is not inevitable. I love that someone who is obese might love themselves, because I never could.  I also love that someone who is obese might feel nothing but pride and a positive self image. But I believe very strongly that obesity is nothing to celebrate. And having a positive self-image in an obese state does not preclude you from having an equally positive self-image in a healthy state.

That said, you should live your life however you want to live it.  But when Fat Acceptance Advocates begin to denounce doctors for blaming everything on their weight, what they forget is this – fat, itself, is an organ which promotes inflammation and injury. Fat changes your hormonal profile. If you are female, fat is very likely to make your period heavier, more difficult, and more irregular. Because of this, you might experience terrible mood swings, and become anemic. These aren’t rare side effects of fat – this is basically destiny.

Staying overweight also has negative effects on brain function, and increases how quickly we age. Waist circumference is a predictor of so many terrible outcomes.

But I don’t even need studies to know that being lighter feels better. I don’t sweat as much. There is less strain on my heart. I am no longer pre-occupied with food (says the girl with the fitness blog).

Now your health is not my business. And your appearance is not my business. But doctors are supposed to be healers. If anything, they don’t do nearly ENOUGH to promote sound nutritional choices, and to remind patients of the importance of maintaining a healthy weight. In fact, there are plenty of THIN people who are filled with dangerous visceral fat. These thin people may be at just as much risk of disease and cognitive decline as their overweight counterparts. And for the most part, doctors are failing them too.

This doesn’t mean overweight people shouldn’t be treated with respect. It doesn’t mean doctors shouldn’t take them seriously. But it does mean that it’s the doctor’s job to keep telling them to lose weight. Because whatever problem they are facing – it is exceedingly likely that its complicated by extra weight. And that might be true for even marginally overweight people. The same goes for thin people with dangerous visceral fat, or with poor blood results. Nutrition is medicine, and it is key.

In Denial 

When I read the literature of from fat acceptance circles, sometimes I am just surprised. Take this article from Every Day Feminism, for example, which suggests that being overweight doesn’t necessary mean you have poor nutrition. The author states that making assumptions based on weight is “oppressive” and suggests it is harmful for overweight people, “..to hear assumptions from dietitians and other healthcare practitioners that because of a physical characteristic, their weight, they must be unhealthy and engaging in poor self-care.”

The problem is simply that yes, being very overweight DOES mean you have poor nutrition.  And you might not even know it. Because nutrition is about more than how many calories and what nutrients go into your body. It’s about the health of your blood, your levels of inflammatory cytokines, your insulin and glucose levels, your gut microbiome and health, your arterial plaque, and your prevalent metabolic states. These factors are inextricably intertwined with your body weight and body fat percentage. This is basic. You can’t wish it away. And it’s not your doctor’s or nutritionist’s job to make you feel good about yourself. It’s their job to provide you with factual information.

There doesn’t have to be a disconnect between loving yourself and wanting to be healthy.

In fact, you don’t even have to be  healthy if you don’t want to be. Maybe you love being a giant fatass, and that’s great. Good health is not a mandate, it’s just a good idea.

But I won’t stand quietly by in the face of delusion. I’ll say my piece, especially since I’ve been there before. Every pound extra takes a toll on you health. It simply does. But that’s nobody’s business but your own.

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