Dress Appropriately

A lot of salad dressings are terrible for you. They are made of processed horribleness that totally kill your whole “I’m healthy because I’m eating a salad” vibe. Dressings, particularly the ones that claim to be “fat free” or “sugar free,” are diet dream crushers, dressed from head to toe in a web of lies.

Like most things, if you can’t explain where it came from or how it was made, then you should probably avoid it. Modified ingredients that cause certain food items such as dressing to be “low fat” “low carb” or “no sugar added” make up for these losses with other items, not natural to your body. Your body reacts to these foreign ingredients in a number of ways, typically with effects the opposite of weight loss. When your body is distressed or confused, it typically likes to play it safe, and hoards sugars and fats, which are useful for survival. But when we are trying to lose weight, we want our bodies to be preppin’ for thriving, not surviving.

I get it though: plain salad can be kind of lame. But its easy to make a basic dressing and get creative with other flavors without having to worry about ingesting the scum of the universe atop your mixed greens.

Make your own dressing!

1/4 C Olive Oil
1/4 C Agave
Juice of 1 lemon or lime
Mix with any dried spices (+salt and pepper) or add avocado, juice from berries, etc. to mix it up! You can also look into some Greek yogurt based dressings! Also delicious and with great health benefits!

So easy! Oh yeah!

Let me know what healthy dressing recipes you come up with to stay away from bottled dressings!



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Salad For Breakfast

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People look at me strangely when I eat this at 7 AM.

Why don’t we eat salads for breakfast? I just won’t stand for it any longer.

And no, I’m not talking about a special breakfast salad. I’m talking about a plate of leaves for you to insert directly into your mouth early in the morning.

I’m not the biggest fan of breakfast to begin with. But if you’re going to eat breakfast, at least make it leafy. Here’s why:

1. Breakfast is disgusting. Salad is not.


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Energy for typing. Romaine mix with eggplant, avocado, roasted pepper and a number of lesser fixins.

Your classic breakfast foods are carby, oily, or gross. Eating them will make you feel like a shitty breakfast monster.

Toast and jelly? Carby and pointless. Cereal? Carby, highly processed, and pointless. Bacon? Gross. So deliciously gross. Pancakes and Waffles? More like heartburn and large pants. Eggs? Good start, but even better with mixed veggies. Berries? Now we’re getting somewhere..

2.“Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.” – Michael Pollan

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This morning’s friend. Mixed greens topped with: homemade vegetarian chili, 1/4 avocado, bruschetta, 1 egg.

I’m skeptical. Not of anything in particular, just of everything I’ve ever been told.

Even so, I subscribe to the idea of eating lightly and mostly plants. It’s not that I think it’s the best way, or the only way, but it works for me.

Eating this way has helped me lose a lot of weight. It’s transformed me from an angel of humility into an arrogant wretch who likes my own selfies. You are now met with the possibility of undergoing a similar transformation.

What we do know objectively is that many plants are good for us. They are often filled with good stuff, including more phytonutrients than current science even understands. Some of these phytonutrients help plants fight UV damage and disease. They might help us do the same. On this subject, check out the book “Eating on the Wild Side” by Jo Robinson. It is one of the most fascinating books I’ve ever read.

If you want to be sexy, and  if you believe you should be getting the majority of your nutrition from plants, then it makes sense to start with your first meal. Breakfast is a great time to eat plants, because every time is a great time to eat plants.

3. Plants might make your gut happy.

We are also beginning to understand that a diet filled with plants might make your gut microbiome happy. Could it be the fiber? The phytonutrients? The fact that veggies tend to take the place of less healthful choices?

It could be that some veggies are ‘prebiotic’ (meaning they encourage growth of bacteria we like). Or it could be that they discourage growth of bacteria we don’t like. I tend to think the effect depends on which vegetables we eat. We have a tendency to group all veggies together, but I don’t completely buy it.

Anyway, the sad truth is we don’t know much of anything for sure. But on this subject, I really enjoyed the book “Brain Maker” by Dr. David Perlmutter.

4. Salad is filling.

One for the bland palate. Romaine, grilled chicken, shaved parmesan, and croutons.

Maybe you think you have a problem with appetite control. But really, it’s more likely that you’re eating a diet that you were never adapted to eat.

If you eat things that come out of a box for breakfast, it’s likely that those foods are making you hungry all day.

I could never get full when I used to eat processed foods. They are too refined, and digest too easily. Processed foods often lack volume per calorie. They are too calorie dense, and you need too little of them to meet your caloric needs. Hence, you continually over-eat.

Salad, on the other hand, is filled with veggies. Fruits and veggies fill your tummy, signaling that you’re full. Veggies, in general, are not calorie dense. And even those that are are often filled with so much good stuff that it doesn’t even matter.

Add a protein to your salad, and you have a hearty breakfast. You’ll be full for hours. You can even add two proteins.  Later in the day, you’ll feel more inclined to eat healthier because you’ll feel so good. You just need to get used to it.

5. Salad gives you options.

There is no reason to not eat leaves for breakfast. And when it comes to which leaves, or how you dress them – that is up to you. Your salad can be sweet or savory, mild or intense. If you close your eyes and pinch your nose, you might even mistake your salad for a cronut.

I eat salad for breakfast almost every day. My salads are my best friends. Mostly because I talk about salad so much that none of my human friends like me anymore. I love my edible friends.

Great (refreshing!) ingredients for an early morning salad include:
-cherry tomato

Moral of the story? Salad. Don’t leaf home without it.


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