A while back, I wrote a post called “Pursue Your Weird Hobbies.” I’ve since deleted it, but essentially it was about the importance of pursuing your weird hobbies as part of a more holistic approach to healing your sense of self, and thus taming your tendency to stuff pies of pizza down your face every time you experience an emotion.
As a primary matter, weird hobbies take time. Less time = less time to eat yummy num nums. Because essentially, you are a sinner.
Also, weird hobbies instill a sense of (potentially weird) identity. Find a weird hobby, and you are no longer self identifying as a fat-ass, but as a basket weaver, or a stamp collector, or whatever freaky hobbyist you should choose to become.
Weird hobbies can be strange, enlightening, or even disturbing. My weird hobby is making little libertarian movies, and imagining that world enjoys them (when of course my analytics tell me otherwise).
But I’ll keep pursuing my weird hobbies! And in the spirit of #election2016, here is my little contribution. Let me know what you think 🙂
It’s primary season here in the USA. And apparently, every last one of us has lost our goddam minds.
But that’s OK, America! There are still three things we can ALL agree on:
Jeb Bush is irrelevant
Ice cream is amazing
Froyo will never be ice cream
I feel legitimately sorry for Jeb Bush. But since we’ve rendered him irrelevant together as one People, let’s move on to Indisputable Facts numbers 2 and 3.
Ice Cream is Amazing
America knows this: ice cream is really very good. As a child, you love ice cream. As an adult, your love only grows.
Even though ice cream gives you diarrhea, you’ll never stop eating it. It tastes too much like actual victory. A taste Jeb Bush will never understand.
adding berries to ice cream removes the calories
Froyo Will Never Be Ice Cream
Just as Jeb Bush will never be president, frozen yogurt will never be ice cream. But unlike the 43rd governor of Florida, our tasty underdog has a hidden versatility we should not hastily ignore.
Unlike ice cream, Froyo can be a decent breakfast choice. In support of this notion, I will now present a series of exhibits.
The People’s Case
Ladies and gentleman of the internet jury, let’s begin with Exhibit A. Here we have a true and accurate photo of the author eating frozen yogurt just hours ago.
Exhibit A. I personally ate frozen yogurt for breakfast this morning
I know what you’re thinking: “Wow! This girl is amazing.”
But even so, you’re a feisty jury. I’ll need more than an amazing photo of a beautiful human eating dessert to satisfy your impossible standards.
Which is why I now submit Exhibit B, a true and accurate photo of the nutrition label pertaining to the yogurt in question.
Exhibit B. This shit is good for you
Look with your eyes please, upon the above Exhibit B. Even a most cursory glance will reveal that this particular treat contains:
only 80 calories;
a perfect amount of carbohydrates; and
an impressive amount of protein! 6 (SIX) grams
I know what you’re thinking now.
“How? What? Why?”
Contain yourselves, ladies and gentleman! Just try to relax.
All will be revealed by way of Exhibit C, “The Great Reveal.”
Exhibit C. It’s made from GREEK Yogurt!
In Sum
tastes decent & is decent for you
low calories, high satiety factor.
live cultures, which I suppose is better than dead cultures or no cultures at all
not insanely processed
ATTN: Gluten Hawks – it’s gluten free.
I’ve tried other brands of Greek Frozen Yogurt, but they taste a bit off. Yasso Chocolate Fudge is the brand and flavor I like most.
That said, this is neither Ben nor Jerry. So don’t expect miracles here. The consistency is um… different. I still like it for breakfast 🙂
I rest my case.
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