Tag: dessert

The Great American Cobbler

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One of the greatest things about being an American is freedom.  Freedom of speech. Freedom of religion. The freedom to make a delicious berry cobbler using only my roommate’s ingredients.

Great American Cobbler facts:

  • Tastes healthier than most (although I’m not sure if that’s a good thing).
  • Very simple to make. #basic
  • Yummy for breakfast.
  • Relatively inexpensive, provided that you use only your roommate’s ingredients.

Warning: I don’t generally recommend cobbler of any kind if you are trying to lose weight.  But if you’re looking for a decent dessert choice, this one is OK.  You can vastly increase the fruit to cobbler ratio for an even better choice.

Ingredients:

  • Whole Wheat Flour;  3/4 cup
  • Milk; 1/2 cup
  • White or Brown Sugar; 1/4 cup
  • Baking Powder; 1 teaspoon
  • Salt; 1/4 teaspoon
  • Honey; amount uncertain
  • Vanilla extract; just a drop
  • Frozen or Fresh berries; 2 cups or more
  • Non-stick Spray
  •  Optional: Stevia; to taste
  • Optional: 1 tsp butter (to coat pan)

Steps:

  • Pre-heat oven to 350
  • Mix the following in a bowl
    • Whole Wheat Flour;  3/4 cup
    • Milk; 1/2 cup
    • White or Brown Sugar; 1/4 cup
    • Baking Powder; 1 teaspoon
    • Salt; 1/4 teaspoon
    • Honey; amount uncertain
    • Vanilla extract; just a drop
    • Optional: Stevia, to taste
  • Coat 9 inch pan
    • I use nonstick coconut oil spray. You can also melt 1 tsp butter in the pan, this improves the taste.
  • Pour batter into pan
  • Sprinkle frozen or fresh berries on top, don’t mix in
  • Sprinkle just a touch of sugar on top of berries
  • Bake 50 min – 1 hour.
  • Eat the fucking cobbler.

FAQ’s

  • Q: What if I don’t have a roommate?
    • A: Unfortunately, you may need to purchase your own ingredients.
  • Q: How much honey should I use?
    • A: I’m not sure. I just squeeze a bunch in.

Happy nomming!

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Coconut Fried Bananas

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sizzle sizzle

You want fried dessert, but you don’t want to hate yourself.  This takes 4.5 seconds to make, and requires two ingredients.

All you need is:

  1. Two bananas
  2. 2 tbsp of coconut oil

About the bananas: 

  • Pick bananas that are not too ripe. No matter what you do, the bananas will stick to the pan a little bit. The less ripe, the less they’ll stick. Frying them in oil will bring out the natural sweetness in any event.
  • I get my bananas from 7/11, because I’m a scumbag. Don’t be like me. Use better bananas.
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this is what a sad 7/11 banana looks like

About the oil: 

  • I keep my coconut oil in the fridge, which means it’s hard. I let it sit out for a few minutes prior to using.
  • I use Carrington Farm’s 100% organic coconut oil, because that’s what I have. Ideally I would use Trader Joe’s everything. But this works fine.
  • Use plenty of oil. These bananas will stick.

 

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my 2nd favorite coconut oil

What to do:

  1. Slice bananas
  2. Get pan a bit hot, then add 2 tablespoons coconut oil.
  3. When oil is beginning to get hot, add sliced bananas
  4. Cook as needed. 30 seconds – 1 min per side seems to work for me. 
  5. Brag to your roommate about what happened to all of the bananas

 

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Froyo For Your Super Tuesday Hangover

It’s primary season here in the USA. And apparently, every last one of us has lost our goddam minds.

But that’s OK, America! There are still three things we can ALL agree on:

  • Jeb Bush is irrelevant
  • Ice cream is amazing
  • Froyo will never be ice cream

I feel legitimately sorry for Jeb Bush. But since we’ve rendered him irrelevant together as one People, let’s move on to Indisputable Facts numbers 2 and 3.

Ice Cream is Amazing

America knows this: ice cream is really very good. As a child, you love ice cream. As an adult, your love only grows.

Even though ice cream gives you diarrhea, you’ll never stop eating it. It tastes too much like actual victory. A taste Jeb Bush will never understand.

Blueberry ice cream
adding berries to ice cream removes the calories

Froyo Will Never Be Ice Cream

Just as Jeb Bush will never be president, frozen yogurt will never be ice cream. But unlike the 43rd governor of Florida, our tasty underdog has a hidden versatility we should not hastily ignore.

Unlike ice cream, Froyo can be a decent breakfast choice. In support of this notion, I will now present a series of exhibits.

The People’s Case

Ladies and gentleman of the internet jury, let’s begin with Exhibit A. Here we have a true and accurate photo of the author eating frozen yogurt just hours ago.

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Exhibit A. I personally ate frozen yogurt for breakfast this morning

I know what you’re thinking: “Wow! This girl is amazing.”

But even so, you’re a feisty jury. I’ll need more than an amazing photo of a beautiful human eating dessert to satisfy your impossible standards.

Which is why I now submit Exhibit B, a true and accurate photo of the nutrition label pertaining to the yogurt in question.

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Exhibit B. This shit is good for you

Look with your eyes please, upon the above Exhibit B.  Even a most cursory glance will reveal that this particular treat contains:

  • only 80 calories;
  • a perfect amount of carbohydrates; and
  • an impressive amount of protein!  6 (SIX) grams

I know what you’re thinking now.

“How? What? Why?”

Contain yourselves, ladies and gentleman!  Just try to relax.

All will be revealed by way of Exhibit C, “The Great Reveal.”

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Exhibit C. It’s made from GREEK Yogurt!

In Sum

  • tastes decent & is decent for you
  • low calories, high satiety factor.
  • live cultures, which I suppose is better than dead cultures or no cultures at all
  • not insanely processed
  • ATTN: Gluten Hawks – it’s gluten free.

I’ve tried other brands of Greek Frozen Yogurt, but they taste a bit off. Yasso Chocolate Fudge is the brand and flavor I like most.

That said, this is neither Ben nor Jerry. So don’t expect miracles here. The consistency is um… different.  I still like it for breakfast 🙂

I rest my case. 

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