Some people can lose weight and keep it off simply by adopting and maintaining good habits. If you fall into this category, then awesome! Just focus on your habits and you’ll be at your goal soon.
For other people, maintaining good habits is probably not enough. Don’t get me wrong, good habits are KEY. They are the absolute most important factor in determining your fitness outcome.
But if you have developed a negative psychological framework with regards to food, movement, and your own self-image, you are fighting an uphill battle. You can help yourself by becoming mindful of your mental framework and taking steps to improve it.
On Failures and Yo Yo Dieters
“Failures” and “Yo Yo Dieters” are people who believe they just can’t win. Two destructive beliefs are most common:
- I am failure at dieting and always will be;
- Food will always be a struggle
BITCH, just shut the fuck up. You aren’t a failure at dieting. You’re just a person who failed at dieting. Big fucking deal.
Losing weight is HARD. Even for so called “naturally skinny” people. When your body has fat, it wants to hold on to it. When you don’t eat enough, your body thinks it’s going to die.
Your hot body – it’s the most complicated machine on EARTH. In the known universe even. It’s smarter than your pre-frontal cortex, meaning – it’s smarter than YOU. It doesn’t want you to lose weight. So you’re not a failure. You’ve been fighting an uphill battle and you haven’t done the right tricks.
And also, no, food will NOT always be a struggle. It will only be a struggle for a LITTLE while, during the period it takes to acquire new habits. After that, it will be easy.
Food is only a struggle because you live in a world of processed foods. You don’t eat like a normal human being should eat, you eat foods that were designed to addict you, and you probably hang out with people who relish in bad food. And yet you wonder why you aren’t where you want to be?
The truth is that you’ve developed habits that are not suited towards being thin. You’ve done this in a world that makes bad habits default. In order to break those habits, you might have to experience a little bit of discomfort. So big deal! The discomfort will pass if you stop DIETING and start living a normal healthy lifestyle of a civilized human being.
But What if I am ALWAYS hungry?
I know what you might be thinking now.
But what if you are one of those people who is always hungry and never satisfied? That is 100% how I used to be. You don’t need an appetite suppressant. You need to stuff yourself with veggies all day, and remove addictive foods from your home and life. You don’t have to ever go hungry, and in fact you don’t even have to lose weight within this time. Within a few weeks, your appetite will begin to change. Within 6 months, you will be a completely different human being. I promise you.
So no, you aren’t a failure, and food won’t always be a struggle. It’s all a story in your head. Throw it in the garbage where it belongs. If you find yourself thinking these thoughts, just think about how stupid you’re being. You’re not making any sense!
This is Only the Beginning
To be a fit person, you need to think and act like a fit person would. You need to identify personally as a person who values your body. Here are a few tips.
- Develop Good Habits. What you do, you become. Fake it at first, then it will become real. Choose one specific good habit, and just do it every day until it becomes second nature. It won’t take long. Beware: Don’t do too much at once. One habit at a time, and I’d recommend you focus on food rather than exercise. A good example: “from now on, I only eat salad for lunch.”
- Get Crap Out of the House. Fit people don’t keep crap in the house, and then complain that they can’t stay in shape. You don’t need bread and pasta, so get rid of it. If you have a craving, then you can go to the store or to a restaurant and deal with it then. Not in the house.
- Take a Break from Going Out to Eat with Friends. In most places, it’s hard to make healthy choices while going out to eat. So take a break while you develop good habits. It’s only temporary.
- Cut Out Alcohol for a Little While. Alcohol = empty calories. You can go a few weeks without drinking. It also affects your sleep quality, which affects your weight. Cut it out, and let it back in after you begin reaching your goals.
If you’ve put your all into developing good habits, and you’re still a failure or a yo-yo dieter, then hey – you tried your best. And I guess your best wasn’t good enough…
…Or maybe consider that your failure was a lesson in what DOESN’T work. Starving yourself and counting calories might work for some, but it’s not sustainable for everyone. Implementing one healthy habit at a time is a universal path to lasting success.
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6 thoughts on “On Failures and Yo-Yo Dieters”
I totally agree with your four points. I’ve stopped going out to eat as much. For me, it’s extra spending money and temptation… both of which I don’t need.
You need to get crap out of the house. It’s also another terrible temptation. When I used to go on my “diets”, I would binge eat all the crap and tell myself, once it is gone, I will eat healthy and I won’t have to see it in the house… that was just an excuse… I would finish it, feel bad about myself and go out and get more food because I felt anxiety about what I just did to myself. It’s a sick cycle.
I never had to worry about alcohol. I don’t like it or care for it. But if you left a bag of chips out…. that’s another story.
Developing good habits is a must. You need to build a routine. If my day/week is not planned out and my meals arent made or at least prepped, I lose control and basically leave an open invitation to mess up. I don’t know if it is like that for everyone but as someone who used to depend on food (just like someone who is addicted to smoking or whatever else), but if I dont have a plan in place, i feel all out of control.
Thanks so much for posting this. Great read.
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I love your no-nonsense style. 🙂 And I totally agree – anyone who says you can get fit without changing habits and making choices is LYING (and probably trying to sell something). Giving up alcohol was the hardest for me – I’m pretty social, and so I would go out often with friends for dinner & drinks, and then I’d wonder why I was wasn’t losing weight! But it was soooo worth it. I’ll drink again, of course, but I like saving it for really special occasions, instead of it being a nightly “unwind” thing.
Awesome points! Booze and coke (a cola) were my toughies! But now 5 months of both and 11 pounds lighter! No other effort! I can now fit into my 30 year old wedding dress!
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I am a fattie at the moment, working on changing habits and eating better. I have been fat for about 20 years now and it’s time to stop being a failure and a yo-yo dieter. I absolutely agree with you. I went shopping hungry the other day and bought some crap. I ended up throwing it out. While it was a waste of food, it was better than keeping it in the house and finishing it off while telling myself that this was the last time I’d do it.
I love your blog and am finding myself being motivated by it and your advice. Thank you for not tip-toeing around the ideas that we all have. I’m confronting just the things you were talking about and it’s helpful to have some cold water thrown in my face when I start rationalizing.
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I am so so so glad you’re finding some motivation from it!!! This comment made my day.
I’m not sure how much you’ve read – but you might have picked up that there are three of us writing (me, Rachel, and Valerie). We’ve all been friends since elementary school. We are all 28 now, and all three of us have had this lifelong struggle and know exactly how you feel.
Every single one of us lost a tremendous amount of weight in the past 1-2 years. I lost around 60 pounds, they lost even more. We actually each did it in slightly different ways.
Me personally – I was extremely heavy as a child (think: heaviest kid in school). So I know what it’s like when it’s just been years and years.
If I had one single piece of advice it would be this: tiny tiny goals.
Stay away from the big picture of how much you want to lose in total. I think this is the one thing I did differently than all the previous times I tried and failed to lose weight.
I wrote this post a while ago, and I think it might be helpful: https://fatgirlsfitness.com/2016/01/28/to-lose-30-pounds-aim-for-eight/
The other two things would be:
1. Keep bad food out of the house; and
2. just focus on whole foods.
So what you did with throwing out the food, that gets an A plus in my book. I hate wasting food, but otherwise it’s always “the last time.”
Thanks again for your comment 😀
Please do stay in touch, I’d love to hear about your progress.
Thank you so much. It’s always nice to find someone who knows where you are. I am aiming for 95 pounds gone, but at the moment I am working on my first 5. I can do 5. I’ve done it hundreds of times before. This time I’m just adding on to it, and eventually I’ll be where I want to be. Thanks again. Congratulations to all 3 of you and I will be joining your ranks soon!