Saturday Faturday

wine

As if getting drunk on Friday night doesn’t have enough calories – enter Saturday Faturday: I am hungover and I will eat everything.

I’ve figured out hacks, tips and tricks for just about everything, but the one thing I haven’t quite figured out is how to deal with alcohol and its after effects.

When I’m drunk, or even tipsy, I must eat or I will die.
And when I’m hungover, I need to eat carby and fatty foods all day or else my hangover will never end.

Here is a list of things I ate today. (Keep in mind, it’s not even 1 PM):

  • 2 bagels
  • 1 cheeseburger
  • 1 lindt chocolate truffle
  • a few handfuls of caramel popcorn
  • (I currently have a sweet potato roasting in the oven)

How do you deal with incorporating alcohol into your life? 

For me, “just one drink” isn’t the answer. One drink is more than enough to get me drunk. Sadly, I’m a lightweight.

While losing weight, I try to avoid alcohol altogether. While maintaining, I drink but not often.

I suppose I could continue to eat carby and fatty foods, but rather than choosing a breakfast consisting of two bagels and cheeseburger, I could choose a healthier option. Maybe a nice wrap with avocado and some meat and nuts.

Or! I could just lay down on the couch all day while eating cheesefries. Hmm…

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How to Find Good Food

Yesterday I wrote a post about decent fast food options. I know I know, I totally suck at Fitness.

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If you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me, I’ll do my best to restore some balance to the universe with this post.

How? By sharing a really awesome website I came across yesterday. It’s called EatWellGuide.org.

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EatWellGuide.org landing page

The premise: EatWellGuide.org helps you locate local healthy options. All you do is put in your Zip Code, town, or City.

Why I like It: 

  • I’ve been struggling to find a local Farmer’s Market. Even though I live just outside the city, I live just outside the city. So it’s a schlep to buy food there and bring it over on pubic transport.
  • It’s easier to use than Google Maps because the search is narrower.

Potential Downfall:

  • It seems like it may be focused on certain geographical areas, but I’m not 100% sure.
  • Try it out and see if it works for you!

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Fast Food Decency

 

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“I can barely taste the difference”

My mantra = eat. real. food. But sometimes, real food isn’t there. And other times, you have your period. So you really just want to have fast food.

My problem with fast food, more than anything, is the industry’s general treatment of animals. I don’t go overboard, but I try to minimize my support of fast food restaurants for that reason alone. Emphasis on “try.”

Of course, there are obvious health hazards related to eating fast food regularly. But of course health matters vary based on your personal circumstances and level of activity. The occasional fast food meal won’t make or break you.

In any event, sometimes fast food is what’s there. Here are a few decent options.

McDonald’s: South West Chicken Salad

Remember those gross salad shakers McDonald’s use to have?

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What on earth were they thinking?

Those days are long gone, my friends. The Southwest Chicken Salad is actually super delicious and yummy. It has mixed greens, chicken, beans, cheese and some little tortilla chips. The ingredients are reliably fresh, at least in my experience.

It’s also really cheap, as far as salads go in New York, around 5 – 7$ depending on the location. As a comparison, a lunch salad in the city is usually around $12-15 dollars.

McDonalds: Vanilla Cone

The McDonald’s Vanilla Cone is truly a hidden gem. It’s nothing less than a tragedy how few people know of its existence.

Dude, this stuff looks and tastes like ice cream. But it only has 170 calories. And 5G of protein. It’s not a bad choice – I have it quite often.

Plus – it’s like .99 cents. Some locations even have an extra small size. Ask for a “kid’s cone.”

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“Can I have a Kid’s Cone please? But make it for 28 year olds.” 

Wendy’s:  Chili + Baked Potato or Side Salad

Some of the best moments of my life were moments I spent eating Wendy’s chili. Depressing? Yes. True? Very.

If it weren’t for Wendy’s Chili, I’d never have any excuse to eat saltines. And I love saltines very much.

I usually get my Chili with a baked potato + sour cream and chives. Alternatively, I get the caesar side salad, and dump the chili on top of it.

Wendy’s: Everything You Actually Want, But in a Tiny Version

If you happen to find yourself at Wendy’s, and you actually want the real stuff, you’re in luck. Wendy’s has itsy bitsy versions of quite a few menu items.

Just ask for the “value size.” And yes, they have tiny Frosty’s too.

Bonus Sauce: Even though your fries and nugs are now tiny, the BBQ sauce stays the same size.

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No, this soda is not enormous. 

Burger King: Ceasar Salad

Burger King’s salad is not nearly as good as McDonald’s, but at least the ingredients have appeared fresh in my experience. And it isn’t gross. At the very least it’s better than getting a Whopper.

Taco Bell: Fresco Menu

Taco Bell has a light menu, called the “Fresco Menu.” These are decent choices, calorie-wise. In fact, pretty much any soft taco is a decent option. The Bell also has rice in a styrofoam cup. #epitomeofclass

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“I’ll have one of everything, please. Actually, make that two.”

A word of caution: these items are not exactly filling.

I find that the Cheesy Fiesta Potatoes are far more suited to my tastes. Not terrible. 270 calories. Could be worse – I could be eating an entire antelope followed by a jar of Nutella.

Any Suggestions?

These are just a few decent fast food options – I’m sure there are many more out there.

I’d love to hear your recommendations.

…Together, we can make sure that no fast food item will ever go uneaten.

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Can a Marijuana Diet Help You Lose Weight?

Ok. I’m a bit suspicious of this. Maybe even paranoid 😉

But I suppose I should read the book before judging.

Reblogged from Vuber Vapes:

A new study revealed that weed/ cannabinoids plays an important role in a person’s digestion. Though the “Marijuana Diet” sound’s enticing, it does not however provide positive results without a proper diet.

The Stoners Cookbook revealed the details on how the diet works. It was mention that “The Marijuana Diet” handbook is something most pot smokers can invest on, wherein they gave tips on how the diet works.

Source: Can a Marijuana Diet Help You Lose Weight?

Did I Just Feel Warmth?

I must be mistaken.  Did I just feel the Sun through the window?

According to the actual internet, here is the 10 day forecast for the NYC area:

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You probably have some questions:  

  • Yes, this is an actual screenshot.
  • No, I’m not making this 10 day forecast up for attention. Not after last time…

Attention ladies! This means:

  • Unless you’re a feminist, it’s time to shave your January coat. If you have a January coat, then you know what I’m talking about. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, then god bless your hairless soul.
  • …Don’t forget your armpits

Ladies and Gentlemen of NYC Public Transportation:

  • deodorant, while not required, will be greatly appreciated beginning this week

Fat People (myself included): 

  • The Sun has entered our fat miserable lives, and being cold and miserable is no longer a valid excuse to not exercise
  • A gym membership is not necessary in this weather, so your wretched state poverty is also no excuse. Less money = less food.

Now is the Perfect Time to Get into Shape!

Forget January. Now is the BEST time to get into shape.

Why:

  1. You don’t feel cold and miserable, and can thus bear torturing yourself with diet and exercise;
  2. Longer sunlight hours means more time for working out and more energy;
  3. AND YET! The party season is not here yet. So you can cut out booze & snacks for a little while without undue hardship.
  4. Eating salads is somehow much easier in warm weather;
  5. The prospect of looking good and being less sweaty this Summer is so close you can taste it!

WALKS WALKS WALKS

I’ve lost so much of my weight just by walking. And this is perfect walking weather. It’s also perfect hiking weather 😀 😀 😀

Yesterday roomie and I went for a nice evening walk along the Hudson. So what if the walk was to PF Changs and back? Fit Girls need lo mein too.

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Leap (year) into Whole Foods

Sandwich with avocado and poached egg

Leap years are weird. But not as weird as spending the precious days of your life torturing yourself on one insane diet or exercise regimen after another, never quite satisfied with the results.

This leap year, I challenge you to take the biggest leap ever:

Shorten the food chain.
Say NO to a diet consisting mostly of processed foods.

But we are all starting in different places. So try one of two challenges, depending on where you are now.

Option One: One Small Step

My whole life, I ate a standard western diet consisting of 100% processed foods.

I didn’t think this was particularly unhealthy. I ate things like Weight Watchers meals,  rice cakes, whole wheat bread with peanut butter and jelly.  I ate things that I made in the microwave.

I started slowly. I couldn’t stomach  REAL whole food. Even by my mid-twenties,  I had never tried a salad.

How did I start my health journey? By eating iceberg lettuce with popcorn chicken. I kid you not. It was a small step. I go into more detail in my post Help! I HATE Healthy Food.

If this is where you are, here is your leap day challenge:

  • eat a salad for lunch EVERY work day for the entire month of March

This isn’t a diet. This is eating salads for lunch. So the good news is that you can still get wasted beyond belief on St. Patricks day!

Option Two: A Giant Leap

If you feel up to it, go big!

Here is your challenge: 

  • eat ZERO processed foods for the month of March; OR;
  • eat ZERO processed foods during the work week; OR
  • severely limit your processed foods ONLY AS NEEDED for the month of March (ahem ahem, you too can eat and drink some crap on St. Patricks day).

I wish I could tell you how much whole foods changed my life. There are no cravings, there is no suffering.  I look forward to every delicious meal.

And when I want a processed item, I have it. I am no longer addicted.

If you’re still getting a large portion of your nutritional needs from processed foods, I sincerely hope you take this challenge with me!

Happy leaping 🙂

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You Don’t Need a Clean Slate

“Ok, I’m excited to do this.”

“I’m finally going to take the plunge!”

“Awesome, cool. Let’s start Monday.”

The Fresh Start Hypothesis

How many times have you made a decision NOW, but only to start Monday? How many times have you vowed to take up a skill, or to make a big change beginning on New Years Day?

These are both features of what social scientists call the “Fresh Start Hypothesis.” This hypothesis states that we have a general tendency to correlate changes in behavior with temporal triggers or changes in environment.

The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly

If you understand more about human nature, you understand more about yourself. And if you understand more about yourself, you have greater control of your outcomes.

We can recognize the “Fresh Start Hypothesis” for what it is, and consider how we can exploit this natural tendency to our benefit. On the other hand, we can also think about how such tendencies might create psychological barriers to success.

In other words, the desire for a “clean slate” can be helpful. But it can also block you. And there is nothing more tragic than someone standing in the way of their own success.

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Know Yourself. 

There is no right or wrong answer here. Everyone is different. We all have different motivations at different times in our lives.

A “fresh start” may be just what you need!   On the other hand, if you find yourself making a “fresh start” every Monday – it might be time to recognize that this approach isn’t working for you.  You have too much emotional baggage, and it’s associated with the Fresh Start.

“But it will be different this time!” Maybe it will. Who am I to say? But maybe you are simply sabotaging yourself.

  • Example 1:  It’s December 27th and it’s a Friday. You are miserable. Kids throw jelly donuts at you, and at 5’1 you weigh 220 pounds. You have never attempted to lose weight before, and in fact your weight hasn’t really bothered you until recently. You have zero healthy habits, and you barely know where to begin.
    • Solution: If you’re going to do a major life overhaul, you can start on January 1st. But until then, see if you can substitute one meal a day with a salad.
  • Example 2: At 5’2′ you weigh 160 pounds. You aren’t happy with your weight, but you’re always dieting. Almost every Monday you find yourself vowing that this week will be different. By Thursday or Friday, you’ve usually fallen off the wagon. You feel guilty and you binge all weekend. Next Monday you know you’ll get it right!
    • Solution: Stop starting Monday. Start right now. For you, the BREAK from starting on Mondays is the REAL fresh start. Don’t be hard on yourself, either. Just make one change for the better.
    • Alternative solution: start Monday, but also start implementing one specific change right now.

The Power of Now

If you need to make a change, it’s best to start RIGHT NOW. But maybe don’t start all the way just yet..

You DON’T need:

  • a funeral procession for your last meal
  • ritual binge before your “purge.”

The more you see fitness as a “project” the more likely you are to see it as deprivation or hard labor.  It doesn’t have to be this way. It could just be simple – eat less shit.

On the other hand, the more you see your fitness journey as a “project” the more likely you are to take it seriously.

So what can we do about this contradiction?

Make a Fresh Start WITHOUT a Fresh Start

  1. Understand that most people have a tendency to correlate behavioral changes with temporal markers.
  2. Understand that our habits do not exist in isolation. They are intertwined with the concepts of time, and also with our physical environments. This will make it easier for you to change them.
  3. Understand also that an absolute NEED for a “clean slate” can be detrimental. And it’s also an illusion. You never need it, you only think you do.
  4. Use this knowledge for good! And Not for evil.

“Starting” can mean taking one small concrete action beginning right now. It could be as simple as replacing one part of dinner with veggies.

Do this PRIOR to taking a big plunge. You can still take the big plunge when you’re ready.

More Ways to Use the Fresh Start for Good

Start NOW!

But use temporal triggers and environmental changes to enhance your efforts.

Examples:

  • I’m beginning to replace one meal with a salad each day TODAY.
    • But beginning on Monday, I’ll start tracking my weight once weekly
  • I’m going to begin cut down on processed foods TODAY.
    • But once the semester starts, I will go to the gym on Mondays and Wednesdays.
  • I’m going to add more veggies in my diet beginning TODAY.
    • But starting on January 1, I’m going to begin my meal plan.
  • I’m going to try to make as many healthy choices as I can TODAY
    • But starting Monday, I’m going to do a 30 day weight loss challenge

The Struggle

I write this post because I struggled with this for a long time. I was always making a fresh start, and I was always failing.

My TRUE fresh start was when I recognized that my need for a clean slate was holding me back. It was crazy and delusional. I would NEVER have a clean slate. And I would never stick perfectly to a diet plan.

And even so, it was difficult to break the pattern. It took time. My brain kept going back to it. I had to break the pattern by reminding myself over and over again that my mind was playing tricks on me.

Remember this: the universe doesn’t have major plans for you. It’s apathetic. It doesn’t care about your clean slate. Only you do. And that’s because it’s a part of your human nature. Forgive yourself. Your slate is as clean RIGHT NOW as it will ever be.

You can use your need for a “fresh start” for good, or you can use it as an excuse to self-sabotage.

I say, if you’re not happy – then start this minute. In whatever small way you can.

Have you struggled with this?

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Seven Magic Pills to Regulate Your Appetite

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          These magic DNA pills will give you thigh gap.

I spent 26 years looking for a magic pill to regulate my appetite.  I spent the last two years finding quite a few.

  1. Veggies and Fat with Every Meal. Non-negotiable. And yes, this includes breakfast.
  2. Eggs. The best food to ever exit a chicken’s pu**y. Need I say more?
  3. Start Your Diet with a Juice Fast. Good for you? Bad for you? I don’t know. But a few days of juice torture and I promise you  this – either you will be dead, or your appetite will be.
  4. Water with Every Meal. I know you know this already. Don’t roll your eyes at me.
  5. Hot Soup with Every Meal. Even in the Summertime. I wanna see you sweat!
  6. Intermittent Fasting. It works for me. Try it.
  7. Never eat carbs alone. Trust me, you won’t stop.
  8. Drive Slow Homie. If you can’t control your appetite, don’t begin a diet and exercise regimen at the same time. First get used to your new eating habits.

FAQ’s

1. What if I want a donut?

You can have one. But only if you eat a large plate of veggies first.

2. What if I want a chicken parm sandwich?

See question one.

3. What do I do if I hate all of your suggestions, and I’d rather be stuck to my couch? 

It’s a free world! Do it. Couches are comfortable.

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Tiny Shorts

As I mentioned in my post Willpower and Motivation, a tiny dress can be a great motivator in a world full of donuts and pizza pies.

Today, I’d like to adapt that idea for Summer: Tiny. Fucking. Shorts. 

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OK, maybe not this tiny.

I’ve been given a very cute pair of hand-me-downs from my roommate:
a size 6 khaki short from American Eagle.

While they do “fit” me now, they are inappropriately tight. No one wants to see ANY SHORTS (let alone khakis) residing that far up the fathomless cavern that I call my ass.

Tiny. Fucking. Shorts. Here we come 🙂

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Michael Pollan is Food Shaming Us Again

…and I love it.

In the new Netflix docu-series “Cooked,” Pollan (bestselling author of “The Omnivore’s Dilemma” and “The Botany of Desire” among others), gets deep into it.

And by “it” I mean all of it.

Pollan covers topics from traditional open-fire cooking by indigenous people of Australia, to food processing by modern corporations, to India, to hippie hog farmers.

And that’s just episode one.

Here is what the media has to say

From the New York Times

Link: “Review: Michael Pollan and Pangs of Guilt, Not Hunger

Michael Pollan is food-shaming us again, this time in a four-part Netflix docu-series. It’s a gentle sort of shaming, and informative, but unless you’ve previously been converted to Pollanology through his books (“The Omnivore’s Dilemma”) or his other screen appearances (“Food, Inc.”), you’ll come away feeling mighty guilty about what you eat.

I’m beginning to detect where this is going….
Somehow, the NYT is going to make this about class and poverty.

Am I right?  Let’s see…

Mr. Pollan’s messages are important to hear and are engagingly presented in this series. Still, there’s a disconnect that’s never addressed. It would be great if all 7.4 billion of us could hunt our own lizards and cook them over an open fire, spend hours baking our own bread from grain milled on stone, and so on. But there’s a gentrification to Mr. Pollan’s brand of culinary advocacy.

The world’s poorest people — some seen in idyllic imagery here — have to devote long hours to basic subsistence, and the world’s relatively well off have the luxury to indulge in artisanal cooking. Yet applying his ideas across the whole range of human circumstances is a trickier subject than this pretty series wants to tackle.

Aha! I was right! Well I guess I had an unfair advantage. I did, after all, read the entire article before making my prediction.

In any event, sure, this reviewer is technically right. But I hate the focus of this review.

I mean really, a review of the show should be a review of the show. If you want to write an Op-ed, then I’d understand focusing on how difficult this problem is to solve globally.

I mean – aren’t most global issues difficult to solve?

The goal of this series is clearly to reach more people with information that matters. And that it achieves. Quite beautifully, at that.

From Mother Jones

Link: “Netflix and Grill: Michael Pollan Takes His Food Evangelism to the Small Screen”

This one’s a bit kinder, although they do criticize Pollan for failing to “offer viewers detailed advice about how to increase how much they cook.”

Much of the information presented in the Cooked Netflix series won’t be new to foodies who follow Pollan’s work. It touches on the rise of industrialization and processed food, the beneficial gut microbes that thrive when we eat fermented food, and the importance of eating meat that came from ethically treated animals. However, even viewers obsessed with health food trends will be seduced by the series’ vibrant scenes, which provide a glimpse of how cultures around the world make—and break—their proverbial bread.

My Take

I think the series is fantastic, and of course, I think Michael Pollan is fantastic.

I love the series for two reasons:

1. People Don’t Read

If you are reading this blog, then I congratulate you. Because while writers at the NY Times and Mother Jones are writing to an audience that is often highly familiar with Pollan’s work, the truth is that the majority of people don’t ever read.

Sure, plenty of people do read. But even among the most educated, plenty of people don’t.

And sure, more people are reading than ever before. On all sorts of media, yes. But I reiterate – many people don’t.

Media is increasingly converting to video. So when information that is normally found in books goes to Netflix, I’m all about it. Especially when it educates people on something so important.

2. Processed Food is Still King

Again, readers of the NY Times and Mother Jones represent a small subset of the population, despite these being huge publications. So when these publications write reviews, they are writing for so called “sophisticated people” who have heard it all before.

But most people haven’t heard it all before. They’re still confused. And it’s not their fault.

And sure – Pollan’s books (and similar books) are extremely well known. They have been read by millions.  But these millions represent a tiny percentage of the population as a whole.

I don’t take a militant approach to shedding light on important issues. I take a “leaky information approach.”

Most people don’t read, but the people who do – they spread the word. The others end up reading only the headlines. And that’s OK.

Most people don’t eat a reasonable diet, but the people who do – they spread the word.  We  won’t end up eating a perfect diet. And that’s OK. There is no such thing as a perfect diet. It’s all about steps towards better information for more people. This series helps us get there.

In Sum

I am so happy that awareness of the importance of whole foods is becoming stronger everyday. But for the vast majority of people in this country (and increasingly around the world), processed food is still king!! 

So I say – the more information the better! The more people reached the better!

This, my friends, is how progress happens.

And I applaud Michael Pollan (and people like him) for bringing important concepts to new people every day.

Great series. Check out “Cooked” on Netflix and let me know what you think.

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