Seven Magic Pills to Regulate Your Appetite

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          These magic DNA pills will give you thigh gap.

I spent 26 years looking for a magic pill to regulate my appetite.  I spent the last two years finding quite a few.

  1. Veggies and Fat with Every Meal. Non-negotiable. And yes, this includes breakfast.
  2. Eggs. The best food to ever exit a chicken’s pu**y. Need I say more?
  3. Start Your Diet with a Juice Fast. Good for you? Bad for you? I don’t know. But a few days of juice torture and I promise you  this – either you will be dead, or your appetite will be.
  4. Water with Every Meal. I know you know this already. Don’t roll your eyes at me.
  5. Hot Soup with Every Meal. Even in the Summertime. I wanna see you sweat!
  6. Intermittent Fasting. It works for me. Try it.
  7. Never eat carbs alone. Trust me, you won’t stop.
  8. Drive Slow Homie. If you can’t control your appetite, don’t begin a diet and exercise regimen at the same time. First get used to your new eating habits.

FAQ’s

1. What if I want a donut?

You can have one. But only if you eat a large plate of veggies first.

2. What if I want a chicken parm sandwich?

See question one.

3. What do I do if I hate all of your suggestions, and I’d rather be stuck to my couch? 

It’s a free world! Do it. Couches are comfortable.

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Tiny Shorts

As I mentioned in my post Willpower and Motivation, a tiny dress can be a great motivator in a world full of donuts and pizza pies.

Today, I’d like to adapt that idea for Summer: Tiny. Fucking. Shorts. 

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OK, maybe not this tiny.

I’ve been given a very cute pair of hand-me-downs from my roommate:
a size 6 khaki short from American Eagle.

While they do “fit” me now, they are inappropriately tight. No one wants to see ANY SHORTS (let alone khakis) residing that far up the fathomless cavern that I call my ass.

Tiny. Fucking. Shorts. Here we come 🙂

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Personal Gains

This is a “pat myself on the back” kinda post…and one that is well deserved.

I haven’t written about my struggles and weight gains and losses yet. I’ll share those stories with you another time.

Yesterday, my best friends and I (including my blog-mates, Dorit and Val), went bridesmaids dress shopping. Exactly 4 years and 10 days ago I got married. On that day, I wore a size 22 wedding dress. Yesterday, a size 8. I can’t explain that moment. So many emotions. When I was shopping for my wedding, I was hoping and praying that something would fit me and yesterday, the possibilities were endless.

You all know my Husband joined this health journey with me. Today is six weeks since he’s started and he has lost exactly 19 pounds. Hard work does pay off!

What about you guys? I really want to hear your stories. Tell me your accomplishments. It doesn’t even have to be weight loss related! Did you have a goal to run a marathon and you finally did it? Did you finally fit into a pair of jeans you’ve been trying to wear for months? Anything…We all deserve a pat on the back once in a while.

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Tracking Through the Seasons

I weigh my fat self everyday. I measure my fat body parts regularly.

But actually, I’m not much of a tracker.

I don’t:

  • have great before and after pictures
  • know exactly how much I’ve lost or exactly when I lost it

I do know:

  • I’ve lost a lot of weight (currently hovering around 50-60 pounds)
  • I started in December 2014
  • I lose most during WARM seasons and maintain during the cold

Progress Through The Seasons

Maybe because I don’t track, I am sometimes surprised by the changes.

Here are two pictures of me and my “friend”, roommate, and co-contributor Valerie. The first was taken March 2015, and the next taken September 2015.

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March 2015, road trip! NJ to Tennessee. (I’m the one with the better sneakers)

By this first picture, we had already lost a ton of weight.

I was down about 25-30 ish pounds from my original weight of 188, putting me somewhere in the high 150-ish range.

Val lost weight much faster! (What a bitch!) She started later than me, and by this pic, she was down much more than I was. Incidentally, I happen to think she totally sucks.

Here is the second picture, taken in  September 2015. Notice how much Val sucks:

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September, 2015. Doing our regular 8 mile walk along the Jersey Shore. (I’m the one with the better face)

I realize these are the worst before/after pictures EVER! Yes. We are wearing sweaters. Yes, we are morons.

It was probably Val’s stupid idea. And I’m sorry. But in any event – I feel as though we look like entirely different people.

The point is – by now I was beginning to feel fit.
And I think Val (the bitch) was beginning to feel the same.

During this period, Val had lost an additional 6 pounds, and I had lost maybe 15.

There was also a lot of muscle gain during this time (we were working out like crazy), so those figures don’t account for additional fat loss.  

Two Different Experiences

Because she is a backstabbing ho, Val lost weight consistently throughout her efforts.

But since I, on the other hand, am a good person, I lost it in spurts. And mostly during warm weather.

So even though I lost weight fast, I also spent a lot of time not losing weight at all. Because unlike my so-called friend, I find it intolerable and unpleasant to lose weight when it’s cold. Maybe that’s why Val thinks she’s so much better than me.

Since the Last Photo

We have both lost weight since this period, but not much because we’ve done a lot of toning.

Val has lost 4 additional pounds to date (and gained a ton of muscle). She looks amazing! And I still think she can kiss my ass.

I lost maybe 10 between then and January (most of it in September/October). I then gained 2-3 over the holiday season and on my birthday, then lost it. I’ve stayed the same weight for most of January and February.

In the second photo, I was probably a size 10. Now I am consistently a size 6 or 8. I also have a dimple in my right cheek, and Val doesn’t have any dimples at all.

This was me on New Years 2016 (standing sideways of course!):

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New Years Eve, Mexico (137ish pounds?) Never forget to do triangle arms.

Here I am in the mirror yesterday:

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138, with a certain monthly visitor

 

My Ultimate Goal

I don’t know what my ultimate goal is. But I’d love to see how I look and feel in my 120’s.

I have NEVER EVER EVER been in my 120’s. I’m pretty sure my weight at birth was 140 pounds, 3 OZ.

After two months of maintaining – I’m finally beginning to see some nice weather here in New York! So I’ve left maintenance and I’m finally trying to go for this final 10-15 pounds. 

Because I’ll work hard, and because I remain confident that I’m an overall better person than Val, I know I’m going to succeed.

Wish me luck!!!

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No Gym No Problem: Part 1

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Good Morning Guys and Gals!

I am super excited about this post as it was a request made by a friend. She contacted me on Thursday asking for a 30 minute workout she could do at home.

Just because you don’t have a gym membership doesn’t mean you can’t work out! You don’t need to spend crazy amounts of money on an at-home gym system or make 1001 installment payments on a boflex machine.

One of my biggest pet peeves is chachkas…I never understood why people buy mass amounts of things to display. What happened to less is more? What happened to feng shui?

I am a fan of keeping life simple and clean. I’ll never forget what my dad used to tell me when I was young and rebellious and my room looked like a tornado hit it, “Your room is a reflection of your life. If you can’t keep your space organized, how can your life be any different?” Now I understand what he’s talking about. If things around our place are messy, my whole day is thrown off balance. If you feel the same way, check out Marie Kondo’s, The-Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up .

I’ve come up with a 30 min work out plan that does not require lots of space or equipment. This circuit can burn approximately 260 calories for someone who weighs an average of 150 pounds. Starting out, this can be exhausting, if you are just beginning, try each move for 30 seconds versus a minute and build yourself up.

Remember, you can customize it to your needs. If you can’t do planks, do push ups or sit ups. If you can’t do jumping jacks, walk in place.

If you need to take a break, take a break! It’s ok!

Work out: 5 rounds x 6 minute per round = 30 minutes

Each round includes: 

  • Jumping Jacks = 1 minute
  • Planks= 1 minute
  • Squats= 1 minute
  • Wall squat= 1 minute
  • Standing lunge= 1 minute
  • Kettle bell swings= 1 minute (Use a dumbbell if you don’t have a kettle bell)

Click below to see me in action:

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Michael Pollan is Food Shaming Us Again

…and I love it.

In the new Netflix docu-series “Cooked,” Pollan (bestselling author of “The Omnivore’s Dilemma” and “The Botany of Desire” among others), gets deep into it.

And by “it” I mean all of it.

Pollan covers topics from traditional open-fire cooking by indigenous people of Australia, to food processing by modern corporations, to India, to hippie hog farmers.

And that’s just episode one.

Here is what the media has to say

From the New York Times

Link: “Review: Michael Pollan and Pangs of Guilt, Not Hunger

Michael Pollan is food-shaming us again, this time in a four-part Netflix docu-series. It’s a gentle sort of shaming, and informative, but unless you’ve previously been converted to Pollanology through his books (“The Omnivore’s Dilemma”) or his other screen appearances (“Food, Inc.”), you’ll come away feeling mighty guilty about what you eat.

I’m beginning to detect where this is going….
Somehow, the NYT is going to make this about class and poverty.

Am I right?  Let’s see…

Mr. Pollan’s messages are important to hear and are engagingly presented in this series. Still, there’s a disconnect that’s never addressed. It would be great if all 7.4 billion of us could hunt our own lizards and cook them over an open fire, spend hours baking our own bread from grain milled on stone, and so on. But there’s a gentrification to Mr. Pollan’s brand of culinary advocacy.

The world’s poorest people — some seen in idyllic imagery here — have to devote long hours to basic subsistence, and the world’s relatively well off have the luxury to indulge in artisanal cooking. Yet applying his ideas across the whole range of human circumstances is a trickier subject than this pretty series wants to tackle.

Aha! I was right! Well I guess I had an unfair advantage. I did, after all, read the entire article before making my prediction.

In any event, sure, this reviewer is technically right. But I hate the focus of this review.

I mean really, a review of the show should be a review of the show. If you want to write an Op-ed, then I’d understand focusing on how difficult this problem is to solve globally.

I mean – aren’t most global issues difficult to solve?

The goal of this series is clearly to reach more people with information that matters. And that it achieves. Quite beautifully, at that.

From Mother Jones

Link: “Netflix and Grill: Michael Pollan Takes His Food Evangelism to the Small Screen”

This one’s a bit kinder, although they do criticize Pollan for failing to “offer viewers detailed advice about how to increase how much they cook.”

Much of the information presented in the Cooked Netflix series won’t be new to foodies who follow Pollan’s work. It touches on the rise of industrialization and processed food, the beneficial gut microbes that thrive when we eat fermented food, and the importance of eating meat that came from ethically treated animals. However, even viewers obsessed with health food trends will be seduced by the series’ vibrant scenes, which provide a glimpse of how cultures around the world make—and break—their proverbial bread.

My Take

I think the series is fantastic, and of course, I think Michael Pollan is fantastic.

I love the series for two reasons:

1. People Don’t Read

If you are reading this blog, then I congratulate you. Because while writers at the NY Times and Mother Jones are writing to an audience that is often highly familiar with Pollan’s work, the truth is that the majority of people don’t ever read.

Sure, plenty of people do read. But even among the most educated, plenty of people don’t.

And sure, more people are reading than ever before. On all sorts of media, yes. But I reiterate – many people don’t.

Media is increasingly converting to video. So when information that is normally found in books goes to Netflix, I’m all about it. Especially when it educates people on something so important.

2. Processed Food is Still King

Again, readers of the NY Times and Mother Jones represent a small subset of the population, despite these being huge publications. So when these publications write reviews, they are writing for so called “sophisticated people” who have heard it all before.

But most people haven’t heard it all before. They’re still confused. And it’s not their fault.

And sure – Pollan’s books (and similar books) are extremely well known. They have been read by millions.  But these millions represent a tiny percentage of the population as a whole.

I don’t take a militant approach to shedding light on important issues. I take a “leaky information approach.”

Most people don’t read, but the people who do – they spread the word. The others end up reading only the headlines. And that’s OK.

Most people don’t eat a reasonable diet, but the people who do – they spread the word.  We  won’t end up eating a perfect diet. And that’s OK. There is no such thing as a perfect diet. It’s all about steps towards better information for more people. This series helps us get there.

In Sum

I am so happy that awareness of the importance of whole foods is becoming stronger everyday. But for the vast majority of people in this country (and increasingly around the world), processed food is still king!! 

So I say – the more information the better! The more people reached the better!

This, my friends, is how progress happens.

And I applaud Michael Pollan (and people like him) for bringing important concepts to new people every day.

Great series. Check out “Cooked” on Netflix and let me know what you think.

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Help! I HATE Healthy Food

Hungry cute female reaches for donut at night near fridge

In the land of picky eating, I once reigned as queen. Processed carbs were my vassals. Flavor, my sworn enemy.

When I tried new foods, it felt like a terrible explosion in my mouth. Sometimes it still does.

My mom told me I’d thrive in jail. “All you need is bread and butter,” she said. Maybe that’s why I became a criminal defense attorney.

What to Do

  1. Try New Foods. Obviously. 

I love tomatoes. And I still can’t believe it.

Like most foods, tomatoes were once my enemy. Just the tiniest sliver made my whole mouth feel like it was vibrating. What monster brought these wretched things into being?

One day, I just grabbed a tomato and vowed that I would love it. In fact, I would make love to it. So I started adding tiny bits of tomato to my meals.

I’d put it on my fork, together with other flavors to drown it out. And I did it over and over and over again. I never made myself eat all of the tomato, but I always made myself have at least a little bit.

Now I love tomatoes. Weird. But that’s how our brain works.

2.  Start With Iceberg, then Romaine. 

I wanted to eat salads, but I could NOT stand greens, let alone dark greens.

I found iceberg lettuce tolerable, but I knew it had zero health value. So what, who cares? Eat it anyway. Soon you’ll move onto romaine, which is a little better. And after that, you’ll move on to darker greens.

When I first started eating salads, I used the following ingredients:

  1. iceberg lettuce
  2. microwavable popcorn chicken (yes, breaded)
  3. hardboiled egg
  4. small amount of shredded mozzarella cheese
  5. croutons or crushed up saltines
  6. small amount of kraft french dressing

Not exactly the picture of health. But it was a step.

Later, I would start using grilled chicken. Then I would add romaine. Eventually I removed the cheese. I added  cucumbers. I added a little bit of tomato.  Soon, I started mixing in dark greens.

..But not that soon. It probably took a good 6 months. I started with baby spinach. Arugula is good too.

At some point, the croutons were replaced with seeds. All of this happened because I wanted it to. Not because I made myself. I was getting tired of iceberg lettuce, and I wanted more flavor. Trust me, you will too.

3. Do a Several Day Juice Fast

There is a lot of controversy surrounding juice fasts. I won’t get into that here. But I will tell you this. Juice fasts absolutely 100% changed my food preferences for the better.

Once I finished a 10 day juice fast, I craved healthy food. After 10 days of juice, all I wanted was a salad.

Maybe 10 days is extreme. Try 3 days. Or maybe juice is too extreme. Try smoothies. All you need is veggies, fruits, and a blender.

I got my recipes (and inspiration) here.

4. Intermittent Fasting

Like juice fasting, a 5:2 diet will help you crave healthier foods.  I don’t know why, but it works. Maybe 5:2 isn’t for everyone, I don’t know. For me, it helps regulate appetite. And I was a binger of the highest order.

I don’t actively do 5:2, I just kind of do it naturally. It feels like the right way for me to eat now, and I imagine it will be for a long time.

For more on 5:2 check out “The Fast Diet” by Dr. Michael Mosley. Or, if you don’t want to read a book, check out the BBC Documentary “Eat Fast Live Longer” also featuring Dr. Mosley. It’s free on YouTube.

Share the Wealth

Do you have any tips or experience with regards to healthy eating for picky eaters?

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On the New York Times, Children, & the Cost of Nutrition

Concerned Woman Looking At Pre Packaged Meat

I get very upset when I think about kids with poor nutrition.

Kids don’t make their own food choices, and it’s just not fair. Every child deserves the healthiest body he or she can possibly have. There is absolutely NO reason why we should be suffering an epidemic of excess. It is 100% unacceptable to allow our own idiocy to destroy the lives of children.

Expense is Not the Issue

A healthy diet is NOT necessarily more expensive than an unhealthy diet. Of course, there are many types of healthy diets, and many types of unhealthy diets. My definition of a healthy diet is one consisting of mostly veggies, which at the very least limits processed foods.

But earlier today I came across a NYT opinion piece that made an excellent point. The author raised the issue not only of the direct expenses of a healthy diet – but also of indirect costs which may be too heavy for poor families to bear.

Children are Picky Eaters

The author’s premise is this: many children are picky eaters.

In addition to the direct costs of a healthy diet, poor parents also have to bear the indirect costs of wasted food due to a child’s picky eating habits. If a child will eat chicken nuggets on the first or second time you try, but won’t eat cauliflower until the 10th attempt, then those 9 tries at cauliflower represent a wasted food expense that the family’s budget simply can’t absorb.

Here is a quote directly from the article:

 One mother strove to provide healthy food on a budget. She cooked rice and beans or pasta with bruised vegetables bought at a discount. These meals cost relatively little — if they’re eaten. But when her children rejected them, an affordable dish became a financial burden. Grudgingly, this mother resorted to the frozen burritos and chicken nuggets that her family preferred.

Isn’t there another way?

I appreciate the points the author makes.  In fact, I’m really glad she wrote this piece because it really made me think. But the question remains – do indirect costs associated with waste really prohibit healthy eating?

I don’t think so.

I really enjoyed the article. I read through it a few times. Still, I couldn’t help but wonder three points:

  1. Mom’s Plate. Why not start with highly palatable veggies from mom or dad’s plate? No waste necessary.
  2. The Beginnings. How do processed foods become a default in the home to begin with? Picky eaters at some point start from milk/formula. Why ever introduce anything other than healthy foods?
  3. Why not feed the child first? Anything the child doesn’t eat, mom or sibling can eat.

Mom’s Plate

Here are a few things that are cheap but highly palatable and healthy:

  • eggs
  • sweet potatoes
  • carrots
  • potatoes (prepared the right way)
  • brown rice (prepared the right way)
  • certain fruits (even better if in season)
  • seasonal veggies
  • cauliflower
  • corn
  • beans

All of these things can be eaten by mom or dad. So why not start by buying these foods for themselves, and then begining to offer them to the children?

If the kids don’t bite, no food is wasted.

The Beginnings

Kids start off with milk or formula. They then move on to mashed foods. At this point, food is wasted no matter what you give them. They are 2-3 years old.

When does the transition to processed/fried foods happen?

Why not completely avoid the introduction of processed foods into the children’s diet at a very young age?

Of course – once they try processed foods they will find it difficult to eat anything else. So why are we feeding kids things like processed cereals, which affect their tastebuds?  Why on earth do parents give their kids juice and chemical filled apple sauce? How is THAT not a waste of money?

How did processed foods become society’s default anyway?

Your children are the products of evolution. Sure, there are extreme cases of pickiness that might lead to serious nutritional deficiencies. But it just isn’t feasible that children will regularly starve themselves to death because you didn’t give them chicken nuggets.

We have only had processed foods for less than 100 years. We have had human children for at least 40,000 years.  How could it be that in the greatest time of abundance in all of human history, the only thing your children can survive on is crap?

There are societies that don’t have chicken nuggets. The children have milk when they’re young, and then eat what their parents eat. There isn’t anything else. So just don’t let there be anything else.

Why not feed the child first? 

This, to me, seems like the most obvious solution. Feed the child first, then eat. If the kid won’t eat the food, you eat it. And maybe I’m a future tiger mom, but I might let the child go hungry for a meal or two.

 If they were truly hungry, they could eat the sweet potato.

In Sum

I appreciate the point the author makes. She is reasoned. She makes good suggestions.

And I do think that when we consider big issues affecting society, we should try to consider them  as they truly are. The cost of food waste is a real consideration, and it deserves our attention.

But I don’t think it is prohibitive. It seems clear that there are ways out.

This is not to blame the parents.

It is not their fault. Our society has a messed up notion of health. It’s due in large part to amoral food peddlers, and also to the FDA.  Plus there’s more we can do, like improve the quality of school lunches, and perhaps work to increase SNAP benefits.

But on the other hand – let’s not take the ability to fix this out of parent’s hands. Sure, it may be more difficult for poor parents to provide their children with nutritious foods, but many manage to do it. This isn’t about blame, it’s about correcting the problem.

Let’s not forget what we are talking about here. We are talking about the most important thing in the world: improving health outcomes for children. If it’s doable, then it’s worth doing. Most parents want the best for their children. So let’s not fill the world with unsound notions about the cost of good health. There is no reason why eating healthy foods should cost you any more than eating an unhealthy diet. It just doesn’t. It costs you less.

I don’t have children, so I can only speak from my own experience as a very heavy young picky eater.

I loved food. And I find it highly unlikely that I would have starved myself to death if I didn’t get my sugar laden applesauce. I only wish that the veggies were pushed harder.

Share Your Thoughts?

I think this topic is important.

Give the NYT piece a read, and let me know what you think.

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PX90 Sucks

Some people don’t like the gym because they feel self-conscious there or find the atmosphere less than pleasant. For those people, a home workout seems to be the next best option.

IN THEORY this does sound nice – no one is there to judge you except maybe your pet hamster if he’s feeling particularly elite. BUT – even on the homefront, the excuses can arise. A recent popular trend was the PX90 videos. These videos suck for a number of reasons:

1.     They are unpleasant
2.     Your couch is really not that far from you when you’re working out
3.     Why is this stranger telling me what to do in my own home?
4.     Pushing the “play” button is so easy, yet so hard. Would you rather be watching South Park?
5.     No one is ACTUALLY holding you accountable
6.     Did you do that pushup correctly?
7.     There is probably wine on your coffee table

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Isn’t this so much nicer to look at than a sweaty person barking orders at you?

As a former gym-fearer myself, I get the idea of trying to commit to a crappy workout video instead. Just make sure you are actually keeping up with the commitment.

If you find yourself struggling with this, take time to build small victories in your day to day life to get that esteem up and get you feeling good.

1.     Weather permitting, a walk in the park will advance you to jogs in the park which is likely to even lead to running in the park.  (Pro tip: enjoy this with your dog, not your sassy hamster)
2.     Take the stairs every time  — not the elevator or the escalator
3.     Walk to places you normally drive to
4.     Park your car super far away in the parking lot
5.     Don’t put 84789471874 bags on your arms and cut off your circulation to save yourself the extra trip to bring your stuff into the house
6.     Take your bike out
7.    Ease yourself into workout classes: maybe not XTREME boot camp the first time around, maybe some slow-flow yoga just to get things going. I guarantee that once you start feeling good and collecting gym buddies, your fears will be magically washed away.

Related to numero siete (#7), the most effective way to stay active is to have a buddy and/or support system.

..I bet the PX90 guy doesn’t even know your name and that’s not very encouraging. If he does know your name, you should probably ask him to take you out for a nice (yet healthy!) dinner because I’m sure that guys loaded.

If you can manage to commit to these workout videos, good for you! I wish I had your style. But for the rest of us lacking in motivation, we need to keep at it to find better ways to stay on track.

If staring at the TV is what got us into this mess, it may not be the best way to get us out!

Over and out,

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Eggs and Beans on Top of Greens

 

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“breakfast of greatness”

This is one of my favorite breakfasts.

It’s filling, it’s yummy, and it makes me feel slightly less terrible about the several decades I spent eating strawberry pop-tarts and bagel bites.

The essence of “Eggs and Beans on Top of Greens” is this:
1. Eggs
2. Beans
3.  ….on top of Greens.

It’s basic. In a good way. And like all food, this recipe can also be enjoyed for lunch and/or dinner.

Plus you can modify it easily to make it your own 🙂

In case you’d like some guidance… here is how I do it.

Ingredients

  • one or two cage free eggs
  • approx 1/4 small onion, chopped
  • a handful of mixed greens (baby spinach & arugula = perfect)
  • 1/4 can Bush’s or Heinz Vegetarian Baked Beans (SO GOOD!)
  • salt
  • coconut oil/coconut oil spray (to coat pan)
  • Optional:  olive oil
  • Optional: tomato
  • Optional: splash of asian sesame dressing

Process

  1. spray pan w/ non-stick spray, or use coconut oil to coat pan
  2. cut up onions, begin sautéing them on light flame
  3. once onions begin to brown slightly, crack egg(s) on top of onions and scramble them all together
  4. salt egg/onion concoction
  5. move egg/onion concoction to one side of pan
  6. add beans to other side of pan
  7. put a handful of mixed greens on plate
  8. add egg/onion concoction on top
  9. add beans on top
  10. Optional: add a splash of olive oil on top of your concoction
  11. Optional: add a splash of asian sesame salad dressing to your mixed greens
  12. Optional: cut up tomato, add on top

If you’re feeling extremely rowdy, add half of an avocado for an enhanced gustatory experience.

…But don’t get too wild. Any more than half, and I WILL be forced to call the breakfast police.

Enjoy 🙂

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