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The Power of a Lindt Truffle

“Eat dark chocolate,” they say.
“It has health benefits,” they say.

But who are these foolbags anyway? And what do they know about my most sensual desires?

Because I DON’T WANT dark chocolate, goddamit. I want milk chocolate. Sweet, crappy, sugary, milk chocolate.

Can’t I have just a little bit?
Must everything I ingest have health value?

Milk Chocolate for Mental Health

For the past two years, I eat at least one milk chocolate truffle every day. I believe it was my roommate (and fellow contributor) Valerie who first commented on my truffle habit. She said eating truffles was “very European” of me.

But I don’t have TIME for Europeans. That’s because I’m too busy eating all of the milk chocolates in the land. Milk chocolate makes me dance and sing. It’s what separates me from animals.

What kind of monster would try to keep me from my chocolate? Who dares deny me one tiny little godforsaken truffle? One is never too much. There’s always room for it. Stop trying to take my small happiness away.

I am not sponsored by Lindt Chocolates (if only!).
But I DO prefer Lindt Truffles for two reasons:

7/11 sells them individually, so I NEVER keep chocolate in the apartment; and
They’re good. But they’re not tooooooooooo good. Translation = I can stop eating them (Unlike Twix, M&M’s, Snickers or pretty much any other candy bar.)

alas! a terrible fate has befallen my truffle

Embrace Your Pleasures

Everyone has their guilty pleasures, and I am a strong believer in embracing mine.

Life really is short. And it sucks to deny yourself chocolate over and over again when the reality is that you could be eating some of that chocolate. EVERY DAY.

No – I don’t want to be a fatass. But if and when my time should come, I think I’ll smile at the thought of all the chocolate truffles that I allowed into my life. And then maybe, just maybe, I’ll flash my middle finger at the universe just one last time. As if to say unto the Lord himself, “Fuck you, man. I ate ALL the truffles. And I lost weight anyway.”

(I’m kidding, God. Please don’t kill me.)

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Gym Buddies

This is my swolemate/hubby pushing me around the gym on my chariot (sorry for the terrible quality photograph).

I used to love working out alone, don’t get me wrong, sometimes I still do. I love getting lost in the music and my own thoughts. It’s very rare that we get “me” time or “alone” time. Even though I am not the biggest fan of working out on the treadmill or elliptical (like I mentioned in an earlier post, I like to move around more), it’s sometimes nice to not think about what you are doing and just run and listen to music or sometimes, if I am feeling extra tech-savvy, I will bring my iPad to the gym and binge watch shows that I don’t normally watch when my Husband is around, like “Pretty Little Liars”. There is no excuse to be sitting home on the couch all day. At least go to the gym and move around while catching up on your favorite shows and burning those calories.

When my Husband and I first started working out together, we had a very basic routine. Pick a cardio machine, put our headphones on, and reconvene in about an hour or so. That got old pretty fast so we started to broaden our work out horizons. In addition to the gym, we joined a Pilates studio and fell in love with the Reformer (I highly suggest trying it out. The stretching is amazing and it helped relieve tension and any pain I had in my neck, shoulders and back).

We ended up canceling our gym membership to join a new more upgraded facility that provided classes. Spin classes, TRX, Zumba, Abs, oh my! Doing the same thing every day becomes so stale so having the class options really helped. We also have a Trainer who’s really opened our eyes to new techniques and moves that you can do anywhere. You don’t need the gym to get in a good work out (I will dedicate a post to a good at home work out routine).

Why Gym Buddies are Awesome

Bets: I can get super competitive especially with my Husband. Friendly wager ideas “Whoever does more squats in a minute wins. Loser has to clean the cat litter for the next week”. You bet your burning buns and thighs that I will win that bet.
Support system: You can still support your loved ones even if you are competitive. Listen, at the end of the day, I love my Husband more than anyone on this planet (although, if you ask him, I love my dog more than him) and I want to see him succeed. I will always support him. “You can do it!”
Motivation: Sometimes you just don’t feel like doing it. Sometimes you are just too tired. Excuses, excuses. Your gym buddy is there to remind you that you are about to eat a slice of pizza for dinner and you need to go to the gym!
Spotter: Your gym buddy is also there to dangle that slice of pizza on a fishing rod and you gotta keep lunging or running towards it if you want to eat said dinner above. And if you aren’t eating pizza for dinner, a spotter is good so you don’t drop that weight on your head. Fun story: the other week, my trainer had me doing kettle bell swings with a much heavier weight. I almost fell to my demise but my husband caught me just in time. Yay!
Bonding: Working out is a great group activity. No cell phones, tv, computer, no distractions. I truly cherish the time I get to spend with my husband doing things that we love to do and also benefits our health.

Dogs are also a great work out companion! Go to your local shelter and walk a dog for the day. Who knows, you may fall in love and go home with a new best friend.

New to town? Join a running, cycling or hiking group!

I am leaving you all an open invitation to join my future silver sneakers club when we retire. We can meet at the mall in matching sweatsuits and briskly walk in circles. Who’s in?

Do you prefer working out alone or in groups? Are you part of any groups? How did you get into it?

On Failures and Yo-Yo Dieters

Sit Ups

Some people can lose weight and keep it off simply by adopting and maintaining good habits. If you fall into this category, then awesome! Just focus on your habits and you’ll be at your goal soon.

For other people, maintaining good habits is probably not enough. Don’t get me wrong, good habits are KEY. They are the absolute most important factor in determining your fitness outcome.

But if you have developed a negative psychological framework with regards to food, movement, and your own self-image, you are fighting an uphill battle. You can help yourself by becoming mindful of your mental framework and taking steps to improve it.

On Failures and Yo Yo Dieters

“Failures” and “Yo Yo Dieters” are people who believe they just can’t win. Two destructive beliefs are most common:

I am failure at dieting and always will be;
Food will always be a struggle

BITCH, just shut the fuck up. You aren’t a failure at dieting. You’re just a person who failed at dieting. Big fucking deal.

Losing weight is HARD. Even for so called “naturally skinny” people. When your body has fat, it wants to hold on to it. When you don’t eat enough, your body thinks it’s going to die.

Your hot body – it’s the most complicated machine on EARTH. In the known universe even. It’s smarter than your pre-frontal cortex, meaning – it’s smarter than YOU. It doesn’t want you to lose weight. So you’re not a failure. You’ve been fighting an uphill battle and you haven’t done the right tricks.

…Yet!

And also, no, food will NOT always be a struggle. It will only be a struggle for a LITTLE while, during the period it takes to acquire new habits. After that, it will be easy.

Food is only a struggle because you live in a world of processed foods. You don’t eat like a normal human being should eat, you eat foods that were designed to addict you, and you probably hang out with people who relish in bad food. And yet you wonder why you aren’t where you want to be?

The truth is that you’ve developed habits that are not suited towards being thin. You’ve done this in a world that makes bad habits default. In order to break those habits, you might have to experience a little bit of discomfort. So big deal! The discomfort will pass if you stop DIETING and start living a normal healthy lifestyle of a civilized human being.

But What if I am ALWAYS hungry?

I know what you might be thinking now.

But what if you are one of those people who is always hungry and never satisfied? That is 100% how I used to be. You don’t need an appetite suppressant. You need to stuff yourself with veggies all day, and remove addictive foods from your home and life. You don’t have to ever go hungry, and in fact you don’t even have to lose weight within this time. Within a few weeks, your appetite will begin to change. Within 6 months, you will be a completely different human being. I promise you.

So no, you aren’t a failure, and food won’t always be a struggle. It’s all a story in your head. Throw it in the garbage where it belongs. If you find yourself thinking these thoughts, just think about how stupid you’re being. You’re not making any sense!

This is Only the Beginning

To be a fit person, you need to think and act like a fit person would. You need to identify personally as a person who values your body. Here are a few tips.

Develop Good Habits. What you do, you become. Fake it at first, then it will become real. Choose one specific good habit, and just do it every day until it becomes second nature. It won’t take long. Beware: Don’t do too much at once. One habit at a time, and I’d recommend you focus on food rather than exercise. A good example: “from now on, I only eat salad for lunch.”
Get Crap Out of the House. Fit people don’t keep crap in the house, and then complain that they can’t stay in shape. You don’t need bread and pasta, so get rid of it. If you have a craving, then you can go to the store or to a restaurant and deal with it then. Not in the house.
Take a Break from Going Out to Eat with Friends. In most places, it’s hard to make healthy choices while going out to eat. So take a break while you develop good habits. It’s only temporary.
Cut Out Alcohol for a Little While. Alcohol = empty calories. You can go a few weeks without drinking. It also affects your sleep quality, which affects your weight. Cut it out, and let it back in after you begin reaching your goals.

If you’ve put your all into developing good habits, and you’re still a failure or a yo-yo dieter, then hey – you tried your best. And I guess your best wasn’t good enough…

…Or maybe consider that your failure was a lesson in what DOESN’T work. Starving yourself and counting calories might work for some, but it’s not sustainable for everyone. Implementing one healthy habit at a time is a universal path to lasting success.

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Willpower versus Motivation

People blame their shortcomings on a lack of willpower. But do you treat willpower as if it’s a static personality trait?

..Because it’s not. Willpower is simply a measure of two things:
1. your level of motivation for a particular outcome; and
2. your willingness and ability to take a concrete action in furtherance of that outcome

When you see a cheeseburger, you easily conjure the will to eat it. That’s because it’s salient. It makes your brain cells dance, and you suddenly experience a high level of motivation to just stuff it into your mouth.

When you are highly motivated to do things, suddenly it becomes difficult to NOT do them. So really – your willpower problem can actually be seen as a problem of motivation.

And if you know yourself, and you know the things that really interest you – you can increase your willpower by increasing your motivation. Over time, mundane acts (like exercising) will become a source of familiarity and joy as they become habits engrained in your mind.

Here are just a few ways you can increase your motivation, and thus, your willpower:

Temptation Bundling. Research has shown that coupling highly enjoyable acts with less enjoyable acts can increase your motivation to participate in the less enjoyable acts. For more details, check out my post on temptation bundling. And while you’re at it, check out my Serial Challenge for Gym Haters.
Make Exercising Social. Don’t focus on exercising so hard. Instead, focus on making exercise a fun and social event. Take a dance class with a friend or go for walks with coworkers. It’s not exercise, it’s just fun with friends. (But shhh…it’s also exercise.)
Create Small Goals. Maybe you want to lose 50 pounds. Of course it’s doable. But 50 pounds is a lot of weight, and it’s a very demotivating thought when you’re just starting out. But what if you only wanted to lose 4 pounds? Losing 4 pounds is easy. And if you do it over and over again, you’ll eventually get to 50 before you know it. Set small goals to increase your motivation. It works!! See my post about setting small goals here.
Buy one dress that doesn’t fit. When I first started my weight loss journey, I bought an adorable dress that was several sizes too small. I hung it up, and I promised myself that someday soon I would wear that dress. It was bright yellow, so I noticed it every time I opened my closet. When the dress finally fit, it was incredibly rewarding. Say YES to the dress!

Summer 2015, the day the yellow dress fit! I’ve lost about another 20 since.

What are some ways you keep your motivation high?

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Low Carb V-Day Dessert Alert!

“Scale, scale on the floor, who’s the fittest of them all?” Obviously you and me because we decided not to give into temptation and eat all those delicious heart shaped candies.

This won’t be a long post because I need to make this cheesecake and let it cool before the season premier of “The Walking Dead” tonight!

Few things before we begin:

*I’ve only made this in mini meatloaf pans and it’s yielded enough for two pans. I am sure this can be done in a cake pan and a cupcake pan but I haven’t tried them yet.

*Great make-ahead dessert/treat. They freeze very well.

*I’ve kept them in the fridge, stored in ziplock bags and they held up for five days. I am not sure about any longer.

Recipe

1- 8oz package of cream cheese

1 egg

8 Splenda packets

1 tbls vanilla extract

1 tbls Torani sugar free chocolate macadamia nut syrup (If you do not have this, I suggest using a teaspoon of vanilla extract)

*Optional: cocoa powder or crushed nuts, or fruit like blue berries, or crushed bakers chocolate

*Optional: Top it off with some fresh fruit and whipcream

I used chopped walnuts and lined the pan with the walnuts to make a “crust”

Directions

Preheat oven to 350F

Mix all ingredients together

Grease your pan (I used PAM)

If you are lining your dish with crushed walnuts, do that first and pour batter on top. If not, pour batter into dish

Bake for approx 40-45 min or until cake looks golden brown

Please make sure to refrigerate before eating. It tastes much better chilled. Last time I made them, I put them in the freezer to cool off because we were impatient and wanted them ASAP. So remember to refrigerate or freeze prior to eating.

Your Friends and Family are Stupid

Romantic Love

Enough about love. Let’s talk about hate.

The People You Love are Killing You

Some people are fortunate enough to be surrounded by people with healthy habits. Most of us fall into a different category.

Being fit takes work. And if the people in your life support your efforts, then that is a beautiful thing. If not, it might be time to make some very difficult changes.

Failure to Respect Boundaries

Some people will never respect your boundaries.

Maybe it’s your friends who tell you to “live a little” while pushing a plate of nachos in your face. It could be your colleagues who tell you, unprompted, that they’d rather be “fat and happy” than deprive themselves. Perhaps you have an Italian grandmother, who despite your morbid obesity, insists that you’ll starve to death if you don’t have another meatball. And also, don’t forget your coat.

Losing weight is so hard. Your body is fighting you, your friends are fighting you, and maybe even nana is fighting you.

For me, I couldn’t do it without enforcing my boundaries. These people must be classified as “Haters” and removed from your life, temporarily, while you establish good habits.

Don’t Shun Nana

Ok, when it comes to nana – don’t shun her.

Just put on your mental blinders. When she offers you a meatball, don’t fight. Just change the subject. Then do it again next time, and again next time. Nana is probably so old she won’t even remember.

And Nana is your grandma. She’s not god. She can’t make you eat the meatball. She can barely even lift a newspaper. Deep down, you want that fucking meatball. So don’t blame nana, who can barely even see without her bifocals.

Your Family is Nana

Nana is a metaphor. I’m not even Italian.

Nana represents all the people who think you’re beautiful just the way you are, and who want to stuff the shit out of you because they lived through the great depression.

Nanas of the world are old as hell, and they’re stubborn. You can’t change them. But you can’t let them change you.

Don’t shun your nanas. Just ignore their efforts. They brought you into this world, but that doesn’t mean you have to eat what they offer. Go ahead and break their hearts. We all have nanas. Your nana will be offended, but she won’t be uniquely offended. Disappointing grandma is just an unavoidable fact of life.

And Then There are The Others

If a person is not a nana in your life, and yet they are negatively impacting your weight loss efforts, just do this: drop them!

Temporarily, maybe. Permanently, maybe. Who cares? Once you’re hot, everyone will want to be your friend.

Why so harsh? Because people in your own age group should have the mental flexibility to respect your goals and boundaries. If they don’t, they are losers – or worse yet, jealous haters.

People who love you want you to be happy. When they see you struggling, they want to help you. All the others are just bags of douche.

And Then There Are Your children and Spouse

I love when people who are overweight say they MUST keep crap in the house because the kids like it. Or their husband likes it.

Fit people don’t feed poison to the people they love and care about. Just because your kids and husband are skinny now, doesn’t mean they’ll always be. And it doesn’t mean that unhealthy foods aren’t affecting them negatively.

This is YOUR life, and those are YOUR children and YOUR spouse. Set some parameters, and stop using them as an excuse. I can’t even imagine feeding unhealthy food to my dog, let alone my human family.

This doesn’t mean be a dictator. But it does mean TRY your best. And ACTUALLY try.

Your husband is entitled to make his own choices. And your kids, depending on their ages, are also entitled to do the same. But young kids won’t starve to death if you don’t feed them garbage. And older kids can buy junk food with their own money if that’s what they want. Set a good example by living it. And don’t be a nana to a younger generation.

On Stupid Lies

People who love you (and people who hate you) will fill your head with stupid “facts”. Facts about life, about diets, even facts about you.

Examples:
1. Oh, our family just has slow metabolisms
2. Oh, you’re naturally big. Not like your sister – she’s slim
3. Oh, you shouldn’t eat avocados, they’re fattening. Here, have some cake.
4. Everyone who loses weight will just gain it back, plus more.

These aren’t really facts. They are silly opinions that have been filtered through these people’s various biases. All they amount to is a giant pile of BS.

You don’t have a slow metabolism. Have you ever noticed that people with slow metabolisms are usually the same people who eat crap all day and night?

And no, you’re not “naturally big.” YES you probably should eat avocados. And no, you’re not destined to gain back everything you lose.

In Sum

The people you love AFFECT you. The people who surround you AFFECT you. Both with their actions, and with their words. But they don’t own you.

So this Valentine’s Day – be careful of the people you love the most. You might be using them as an excuse, or they might just be killing you.

Now a question

How do YOU deal with difficult family and friends?

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Valentine’s Day at White Castle

white-castle-is-testing-out-some-really-bizarre-combo-restaurants

File this under: fit girls shouldn’t do this.
And maybe also under: women with self-respect shouldn’t do this.

I’m going to White Castle on Valentine’s Day. If you aren’t already aware, White Castle on Valentine’s Day is kind of a thing. There are menus, waiters, decorations – even music.

I’ve been wanting to do this for at least five years. The only inconvenient fact that stood in my way was that my boyfriends were always normal people. And normal people tend to find the concept of taking their woman to the Castle on V-day a bit too trashy to bear.

But luckily, I now find myself single. Which means I get to have as many Crave Cases as it will take to muffle the sound of my tears.

unspecified-2 — And believe me, there will be tears.

A Few Concerns

Meat? I don’t normally eat meat. So there is a decent chance that I’ll simply drop dead upon touching the rat-burger to my lips. On the other hand, can you really call White Castle “meat”? Maybe I’ll be OK after all.
Calories. Fast food has calories. Scientists have shown that a case of 30 burgers can have up to thirty times more calories than just eating one single burger. God help me.
Parental Concerns. When your 28 year old daughter is spending Valentine’s day crying and eating a literal suitcase filled with burgers, you have to start wondering what exactly went wrong. I really couldn’t tell you, Mom. I can only tell you that I’m gravely sorry.

And Now I Pose A Question

Do you watch your food intake on Valentine’s Day?
Are you strict at all? Slightly strict?
Do any of you sexy people just say “fuck it” and take the night off?

And while we’re on the subject, do any of you eat fast food occasionally?

TALK TO ME I’M SO LONELY!!

Much Love ❤
XOXO

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Running, running as fast as I can

There are so many things we can all debate about, but I think there are a few things we can all agree upon:

Waking up and the first thought being, “Why?”
Commuting to work and asking, “Why?”
That urge… that deep deep desire to turn your car in the other direction and drive far away and then asking yourself, “Why not?”

This was one of those weeks for me. I had this urge to just throw a dart at a map and let this dart decide my fate. I am not sure if this is a bad or good thing but my friends, family, and husband are all encouraging me to just do what I want. It’s good because I have their support, it’s bad because they are encouraging this impulsive behavior.

I can’t just go. I have a few concerns like finance and the fear of not being able to provide for my animals (we have three and they are our babies). I need a plan first. I need a plan to justify this change in life.

But for now, I will run on the treadmill or ride that stationary bike off into nowhere… sigh…

This post was somewhat of a rant, a way to unscramble my mind and to also share my current music play list. This makes my cardio work outs a bit more bearable. I am more of a “let’s move” kinda girl. I am obsessed with strength training thanks to my awesome Trainer and I love being outdoors. Running on the treadmill makes the urge to just go so much worse. Is this how vampires feel when they feel the thirst for blood?

My Playlist:

Coleman Hell- 2 Heads

Arctic Monkeys- Do I Wanna Know?

Soul Asylum-Runaway Train

Major Lazer- Lean on

Icona Pop- Love it

Charli XCX- Boom Clap

Calvin Harris- Sweet Nothing

Benny Benassi- Satisfaction

Marvin Gate- Sexual Healing

The Clash- Rock the Casbah

Falco-Rock Me Amadeus

Third Eye Blind- Semi Charmed Life

Aerosmith-Sweet Emotion

The Smashing Pumpkins- 1979

Natalie Imbruglia- Torn

Spin Doctors- Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong

The Weeknd- Earned It

Lana Del Rey- Summertime Sadness

Ariana Grande- Love Me Harder

Blue Swede- Hooked on a Feeling

Lady Gaga- Do What You Want

Ellie Goulding- Love Me Like You Do

No Doubt- Just a Girl

Taylor Swift- Out of the Woods

Do you guys ever feel this way? What’s on your playlist?

Three Pillars of Fitness: Part 1

This is part one of a four part blog post on my overarching theory of everything.

Here it goes!

There are three pillars of fitness. Each pillar is distinct, but they interact. A weakness in one can (and probably will) infect the others over time.

In this post, I will generally describe the three pillars approach. In the next three posts, I’ll go into each pillar separately.

The Three Pillars

The Psychological;
The Physical; and
The Habitual

“The Psychological” refers to your existing mental framework with regards to food, movement, body image, and self-esteem in general. When you don’t identify as a member of a certain group (in this case, “fit people”), you are far less likely to take actions consistent with belonging to that group.
“The Physical” refers to forces that are generally either outside of your conscious control, or at the very least which exist at the periphery of your conscious control. These include “mechanical” or “chemical” forces that keep you heavy – anything from hormones, metabolic state, genetic predispositions, state of your microbiome, etc. For most people, physical barriers can be easily corrected. This will put you in optimal state to achieve a healthy weight.
“The Habitual” refers to your automatic or “default” behaviors. This is the most important pillar of all, and also the toughest to fix. But have faith!! Science has given us proven methods to replace bad habits with more constructive behaviors. Even in the absence of willpower.

The Purpose of this Framework

There is no objective truth to this particular framework. Rather, the three pillar approach is meant as an aid – to help you identify specific problems, so that you can work specifically on those problems, rather than wasting your time on problems you don’t have.

Within each of the three pillars, you can look for research based methods to take the exact steps you need to address your particular issues.

This framework recognizes that there is NO one size fits all approach to maintaining a healthy weight. That’s because people’s pillars are not weak in the same places.

An Illustration

If you’re overweight – consider:
how did you become overweight in the first place?

Were you overweight as child? If so, you likely have barriers in all three pillars.
- Psychological – It’s likely that your own mental representation of yourself does not include thinness. It just isn’t who you are. Because you don’t see yourself as a “fit person” your brain is making thousands of subconscious choices each day that are different than the choices that a person who sees themselves as fit would make.
- Physical – You likely have physical dependencies on certain foods or feeding behaviors, which go above and beyond mere habits. These may be largely the result of metabolic syndrome, or the beginnings or it.
- Habitual – Whatever habits that led you to become overweight at such a young age are deeply engrained. You haven’t successfully replaced your default behavior to more closely resemble that of a fit person.

Did you become overweight simply from bad habits? On the other hand – you might have acquired bad habits with age. In this case, you may STILL have problems in each pillar but those problems are different. Some examples include:
- Psychological
  - Maybe your framework around food is perfectly healthy -you’ve just fallen on bad habits. In this case, addressing the habits will be sufficient to address your fitness problems. Or maybe those bad habits are beginning to affect your self-esteem. A third possibility is that you were never psychologically healthy to begin with, but only now are the results catching up with you.
  - In the second two cases, you need to deal with your mental framework in order to achieve lasting results.
- Physical
  - Maybe you have physical dependencies on food, and maybe you don’t.
  - If you’ve been eating poorly, it’s likely that a host of changes in your body have occurred – to your hormones, in your blood, and to your gut flora. These physical changes may make it more difficult for your to lose weight.
- Habitual
  - You could have fine psychological and physical health, and yet still become unfit over time. Poor habits tend to accumulate.
  - Luckily, this is an area rife with hacks and psychological tricks to improve your outcomes.

The Fix

Luckily, each of these pillars can be strengthened.

In terms of ease of change I’d rank them as follows (from easiest to toughest).
1. Physical
2. Psychological
3. Habitual

You also DON’T need three PERFECT pillars to achieve results. You simply need to begin making improvements where they are most needed. Where you make improvements will depend not only on the severity of the problem, but also on the importance of the pillar.

In terms of importance, I’d rank them as follows (from most important to least important).

Habitual
Physical
Psychological

The cool thing is this. Just as problems in one pillar can begin to affect the integrity of the others, so can solutions for one pillar improve the health of the others.

In Part Two of this post I will discuss the Psychological Pillar, including concrete tactics you can use to create healthier mental associations with food and movement.

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Valentine’s Day Deck of Cards Workout Plan

Attention fit (or attempting to be fit) couples. This is cute:

I hope you enjoy this fun and simple way to burn off that Valentine’s Day chocolate. Best of all, you don’t need a date to do it! Enjoy and be well. ❤

Source: Valentine’s Day Deck of Cards Workout Plan

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