The Only Bread I Eat

Ok, not true. To be perfectly honest, I eat many breads.

But I do have a favorite:  Trader Joe’s 100% Rye BreadHere is a photo of my lovely:

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On Taste

I can’t say that TJ’s 100% Rye is my absolute favorite by taste.

..Which isn’t to say it tastes anything other than wonderful. It’s just that bread is a tough category to compete in.

Bread is so damn good. I just want to eat all the bread in the world and then regurgitate it back up and then eat it all again. I want to spend 95% of my life eating bread, and the remaining 5% writing about eating bread. I want to marry a Channing Tatum shaped loaf of bread, and then I want to cheat on it with a hot steamy loaf of that impossibly delicious Honey Wheat Bushman from Outback Steakhouse.

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You know what I’m talking about…

Why TJ’s Rye is the Overall Winner

Clearly, I have bread issues. In general, if I start, I can’t stop. I also cannot keep ANY simple carbohydrates in the apartment, because I will eat all of them.

Yet – somehow, I find TJ’s 100% Rye to be PERFECT for my needs.

  • It gives me the carbohydrates I need to not die of sadness; AND YET…
  • I can stop eating it when I want to.

…I think that’s because unlike many commercial breads, it’s not designed specifically to addict you. Evidence? 

…the short ingredients list. 

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Unlike most commercial breads, TJ’s Rye contains zero percent crack.

So even though TJ’s Rye isn’t #1 in taste, it’s number 1 in my heart. More reasons:

  • The taste IS very good (but see pro-tips below)
  • It’s PERFECT for avocado toast (See recipe: “Avocado Toast on Fleek“)
  • High Satiety Factor
    • 100 calories
    • 3 grams fiber
    • 3 grams protein
  • It has NO artificial colors or preservatives
  • It keeps well in the freezer

Pro-tips:

  • This bread tastes a bit weird unless toasted. I toast it on a pan, either:
    • uncoated; or
    • lightly coated with non-stick Coconut Oil spray
  • This bread can be EXTREMELY crumbly, especially when not toasted. 
  • In general, I’ve found that breads from Trader Joe’s have fewer (or different) preservatives than your standards breads. Meaning, they will go bad more quickly than most.
    • Keep it in the fridge or freezer
    • Note: I haven’t had this specific problem with this specific bread, so maybe it’s fine. I have had other breads from TJ’s go bad VERY quickly.

If you have bread issues like I do, then give it a try. It might be a decent bread that you can eat regularly without gorging yourself.

If you don’t have a Trader Joe‘s near you, but you have another bread you recommend for these same reasons – share the wealth!

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Reading with Your Ears

Books are such a gift. Aside from that chocolate crispy layer of an ice cream cake, there is NOTHING better on this planet than listening to a great book while going for a nice walk.

It doesn’t hurt that this is my view:

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Audiobooks and Podcasts

Audiobooks and podcasts are FANTASTIC tools when it comes to achieving your fitness goals. This is especially true if you’re not the biggest fan of exercise. For more details on why, check out my post on Temptation Bundling and also my Serial Challenge for Gym Haters.

You don’t have to suffer while you exercise. If you keep a healthy diet, a nice walk with a book is just fine to keep you in shape.

Additional benefits:

  • For awkward people – You’ll always have new things to talk about
  • For premature geriatrics – Music is loud
  • For people who hate exercise – A compelling book means a 30 minute walk becomes two hours
  • For people who want to impress other people – Your friends will wonder how you got so fit AND so smart

Pro-Tips

Pro-tip: If you’re buying from Audible.com, listen to a sample first. Make sure you like the narration.

Pro-pro-tip: Audiobooks are expensive. Many local libraries provide free remote access to a wide variety of audiobooks.  Call your library to find out if they offer this service.

Here is my audio-reading list from the past few months:

  • “Bold” by Peter Diamandis and Steven Kotler
  • “The Omnivore’s Dilemma” by Michael Pollan
  • “In Defense of Food” by Michael Pollan
  • “Go Wild” by John Ratey & David Perlmutter
  • “Thinking in Pictures” by Temple Grandin
  • “The Autistic Brain” by Temple Grandin

I highly recommend any of the books from this list. I especially enjoyed the Temple Grandin books.

If you have any recommendations, I’d love to hear.  My preference is non-fiction, but I’m open.

And now, for my walk 🙂

Happy “reading”!

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Cover Your Belly

I never in my life felt comfortable in a bikini. Never!

When I finally lost most of the weight, I went out and bought a few. And because I have the self-esteem of Donald Trump, I think they look amazing.

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Who wouldn’t want to hit this?

One of the first times I wore a bikini, I was on a private chartered boat off of Mexico with my parents and family friends.

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it was awesome!

There was a photographer on the boat.

After snapping a few shots he says to me, “ok now go like this, and cover your belly.

It was weird. I was maybe a 26 BMI (just slightly overweight), 29 inch waist. The picture above is from the same day.  So is this picture:

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my apologies for the lack of fashion

Yes, I’m standing sideways. But I assure you, my belly isn’t objectively grotesque. Stats:

  • My waist = 29 inches (I have a large frame).
  • My proportions are 39, 29, 39. I’m 5’2.
  • My belly is slightly chubby, but quite flat
  • When I jog in a sports bra, people occasionally ask for my number
  • I have zero stretch marks/loose skin.
  • I feel perfectly comfortable butt ass naked in front of anyone (you can ask my poor rooommate).

Haters is Gonna Hate?

With regards to the photographer’s comment, I’m tempted to say something along the lines of “haters is gonna hate,” or “who drank the haterade?”

But really, this guy is not a hater. He’s just a photographer, and also a product of society. He saw a “flaw” and thought I’d prefer the photograph without it.  I don’t blame him, because in all honesty – he’s probably right.

Imagine his experience. He works on this boat everyday, and snaps photos of scantily clad women for a living. How many times a week does he hear comments like this?:

  • “omg, my thighs.”
  • “Jeez, I really need to go on a diet.”
  • “oh god – after this trip I’m not eating for weeks.”

My guess is many..

And when he hears those comments, how often do they come from women who are MUCH thinner than I am? Women who, from the outside, look perfect?

My guess is often.  Because bitches are never satisfied.  We’re just not capable of it.

I’m not going to lie.

I do want my waist smaller. I really really really do. I want:

  • thigh gap; and
  • collar bones; and
  • bikini bridge.

I also want my backbones to stick out, and I want to fly away if the wind blows too hard. Ideally, I’d like to fit into my own pocket. In sum – I want ALL the messed up things that people with eating disorders want. And so much more.

Do you want raw honesty? When Amy Winehouse was at her thinnest, I look at her and think, wow I want to look like that. May she rest in peace. And may all the girls as fucked up as her (and as fucked up as me) find some comfort in this world.

But unlike many girls, I’m crazy fortunate. Because despite spending my entire life hating my body (and even hating it to this day), I’ve always had a ridiculously high self-confidence. I give incredibly few shits what people think of me. I don’t mind looking like an idiot and/or failing. Perhaps because I admire people who fail and try again.

At an earlier time in my life, I might have been traumatized by the photographer’s comment. But now, I just feel sorry for him.

Because when you feel that people need to fit a certain mold, then you are the one that suffers. And when you ask me to cover my tummy, you end up with a photo like this:

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We all want perfect everything, but that isn’t what we have.  At least not every day.

When you feel that anyone needs to look a certain way, or be a certain way, you miss out on all the beauty that reality has to offer. Which isn’t to say you shouldn’t work on improving things you want to improve. Just don’t miss the beauty along the way.

I don’t mean to sound cliche, but the beauty really IS in the flaws. And not because the flaws are beautiful, but because overcoming them is beautiful.

And loving yourself in spite of them is beautiful.

So be gentle with yourself. Silly people WILL say stupid things to you, because that’s what silly people do.  If you value your sanity you absolutely CANNOT take those things to heart.

Instead, try your best to see things from their limited point of view.

…I’m still working on it 😛

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Our Hundredth Post!

Holy Guacamole! This post marks 100 posts on Fat Girls Fitness.

Thank you to everyone who has been following along, liking, sharing, and commenting. The interaction with likeminded people brings so much more joy to this experience. And the recipes and tips we’re picking up from other bloggers are awesome.

As you might know, Fat Girls Fitness is a blog started by three childhood friends.

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Left to right: Dori, Valerie, Rachel

We each lost a bunch of weight in different ways. We want to share our tips, tricks, recipes, and thoughts with anyone who might be looking for some help or motivation.

If you’re still early on in your fitness journey, or even if you’re just starting out – just know this: the three of us have been exactly where you are. So you are never alone in this and you can always reach out.

Newsletter

We’ll be launching our biweekly newsletter next month, so please sign up here.

If you don’t – just know that we have only seven people currently on our list. And writing for an audience of seven is just plain sad. Don’t make us do it.

Facebook

We’re also pathetically low on Facebook friends!!!

So if you enjoy our posts (or even if you just feel sorry for us) please follow us on Facebook here.

Thanks again for joining us for the ride 🙂

-FGF ❤

5 Reasons You’ll Gain Weight On St. Paddy’s Day

  1. Green Bagels. 

Let’s start with breakfast, where your poor choices begin.

If you see a green bagel, you will eat it. And with your officemates being the monsters that they are, it’s more likely than not that you’re going to see a whole platter of them.

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WHHHYY??

Unfortunately for you, the sin of a bagel is not without karmic repercussions. It’s more than just the calories in the bagel itself. Like all high-glycemic foods, eating a green bagel early in the morning can result in an increased appetite all day.

To avoid this problem, try navigating to your desk with a brown paper bag over your head. As the old saying goes in Ireland, “If one can’t see anything, one can’t see green bagels.”

Or check out my blog post on How to Eat Half a Bagel.

2.  Beer.

You’re going to drink it. And it’s going to be 150 calories for a bottle…But one bottle won’t be enough for you, will it you drunk bastard?

Knowing you, you’ll probably need at least three to four servings. And that’s why you’ll spend the rest of your life drunk and alone.  It’s also the reason for the remaining items on this list.

3.  Loss of Inhibition.

Once beer happens, it will trigger a final avalanche of unfortunate choices. And like an actual avalanche, these choices will bury you.

As the night proceeds, you’ll yearn for one of your friends to mention pizza or wings. And if none of your friends takes the bait, you’ll mention it yourself.

Will you have a reasonable portion? Of course not! Because beer.

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Here is just one example of a terrible choice you will make. 

4.  Assorted Green Dessert. 

But just because you ate an entire pie of pizza, doesn’t mean your meal is over. Because:

  1. You don’t hate yourself just yet;
  2. You’re surrounded by assorted green desserts; and
  3. You’re drunk

 Here are just a few of the half-dozen green desserts you will now inhale:

  • Green donuts and/or munchkins
  • Green cookies and/or cake
  • Green ice cream and/or jello

But I suppose St. Paddy’s is a lucky day after all. Because I’ve just come across an excellent resource to help you lose a touch of that appetite. At least as far as green desserts are concerned.

It’s a photo of me from 2007. I’m making green cupcakes for Valerie’s house party.

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I hope Val’s guests enjoy hair.

5.  The Hangover. 

Fast forward to tomorrow.

Because you’re hungover and full of hair cupcakes, it’s time to:

  • Eat more food; and
  • Not move all day

Moving hurts, everything sucks, and you vow never to drink again.

Unfortunately for you, St. Paddy’s day falls on Thursday this year. Let the weekend drinking and eating commence.

Happy Gaining! 

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Help! I Just Drank Casper’s Friendly Urine

Welcome to beautiful West New York, New Jersey. This is what my drinking water looks like:

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Even outside of Flint, Michigan – it is apparent that are countless fuck-ups when it comes to drinking water.

I’m beginning to wonder – hey water authorities, you know it’s suppose to be clear, right?

Here are things I won’t do with my town-supplied water:
1. drink it
2. cook with it
3. give it to my dog

Here are things I do do with it:
1. bathe (but only when I really start to smell)
2. brush my teeth (but only when they really start to smell)

What’s G00d.

Your drinking water (and bathing water) may be harmful to you, and more likely – to your micro-biome. This is true even if it’s perfectly clear!

In the worst case scenario, your drinking water can poison you and slowly make you crazy.

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But most likely you were already crazy to begin with.

We still don’t understand much about the effects of certain chemicals in our drinking water on our health. There are just too many chemicals to even begin testing! Why do companies want to poison us so much??

What’s worse – most of us aren’t even aware of what’s in our drinking water. And that’s partially because it varies so much based on so many factors. And partially because who gives a fuck.

Obligatory Gratitude

At this point I should note the following: I’m really thankful that our drinking water is treated. I realize that a sad micro-biome is less serious than let’s say oh…. typhoid.

But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t seek to limit those aspects of water treatment that might cause us intestinal distress, or worse – the feeling of drinking the urine of a friendly ghost

Filters exist! And should probably be used in many areas. Filters even exist for your shower head. So now, you can shower EVEN WITHOUT your tin foil hat.

A Resource!

I want to learn what’s in my water. But I can’t because for some reason my town isn’t in this otherwise AWESOME database.

It’s the Environmental Working Group’s National Tap Water Database. All you need to learn more about your water is your zip code and the name of your water utility.

Since my town wasn’t in the database, I captured the info for my hometown where I grew up. While I don’t understand any of it, I’m going to assume based on the little red circles that I should expect a second head or extra big toe to pop up at any moment.

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How am I not a mutant?

BTW, I checked a few towns on top of this. And even though my search was brief, I uncovered MANY towns whose water supply looks much worse than this. Sooooo many more red circles…

As I mentioned, I don’t know what’s in my town’s drinking water. But I’m not going to assume it’s anything good. Because:
1. It’s gray; and
2. when I use it for my humidifier, my ENTIRE APARTMENT smells like chlorine.

..so that scares me.

In Sum

You might not give too much thought to your drinking water. But it probably wouldn’t hurt to have throw a filter on your tap.

I don’t filter my water, just because our sink is weird. I buy jugs of water from 7/11 because I’m a class act. Eventually I’ll buy a Brita jug.

If you’re a total nutbag, you can even filter your shower water. Who knows – you might be right. Your shower water might be killing you.

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Saturday Faturday

wine

As if getting drunk on Friday night doesn’t have enough calories – enter Saturday Faturday: I am hungover and I will eat everything.

I’ve figured out hacks, tips and tricks for just about everything, but the one thing I haven’t quite figured out is how to deal with alcohol and its after effects.

When I’m drunk, or even tipsy, I must eat or I will die.
And when I’m hungover, I need to eat carby and fatty foods all day or else my hangover will never end.

Here is a list of things I ate today. (Keep in mind, it’s not even 1 PM):

  • 2 bagels
  • 1 cheeseburger
  • 1 lindt chocolate truffle
  • a few handfuls of caramel popcorn
  • (I currently have a sweet potato roasting in the oven)

How do you deal with incorporating alcohol into your life? 

For me, “just one drink” isn’t the answer. One drink is more than enough to get me drunk. Sadly, I’m a lightweight.

While losing weight, I try to avoid alcohol altogether. While maintaining, I drink but not often.

I suppose I could continue to eat carby and fatty foods, but rather than choosing a breakfast consisting of two bagels and cheeseburger, I could choose a healthier option. Maybe a nice wrap with avocado and some meat and nuts.

Or! I could just lay down on the couch all day while eating cheesefries. Hmm…

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